Page 89 of Hearts Lost

“Get fucked. Dipshit,” Rowan replies in a whisper as soft as the wind through dry grass. His hands close around the blade, and I swear there’s something almost friendly in the curve of his mouth.

“See you soon,” Aloserin replies.

“I’ll make sure of it,” Rowan whispers.

Rowan closes his eyes as the dark blade vanishes into the folds of his cloak. Aloserin comes to his feet, then turns to me. I shrink back against the wall, my mind and heart still screaming that this is impossible, this is wrong. I don’t deserve this. I’m no kind of trade for someone like Rowan.

“Ithronel,” Aloserin says.

He reaches for me, his open palm pale in the lamplight, his hand stretching over Rowan’s chest. Just like he reached for me at the waterfall, with Rowan and all the others standing in a circle around us. Just before his magic turned my world dark.

I yank back as though I’ve been burned. Pain ripples across Aloserin’s face, there and then gone, buried beneath the calm mask of the Acting Captain of the Royal Guard. Of the only heir to the family Ravadithas.

“I’m sorry,” Aloserin whispers. “I won’t use my magic on you again. But—”

He tilts his head toward the cell’s open door, toward the shimmering portal beyond.

“They need to think you’re unconscious,” he finishes.

Dread pulls my stomach tight, and something bitter rises in the back of my throat. I remember standing on the edge of the waterfall as the river crashed against the stones behind me and thinking that I had a choice. That I could just step backward.

I could stay here. It’s not like the Lands Below have anything to offer me. Maybe I should stay in this dungeon. Maybe I could help Rowan in some way.

“I’m not keeping this open any longer,” a low, rumbling voice growls from outside the door.

My heart leaps against the cage of my ribs, and my body lurches to my feet before my mind can process that I’ve already made my decision. If there was ever any decision to be had.

Still, I hesitate as the room sways around me. Aloserin stands with his hand outstretched, his fingers brushing the emptiness between us, but he doesn’t move toward me. There’s a low growl from the open cell door, then the slithering sound of scales moving across stone. Rensivar’s patience wears thin, I think to myself. He might leave all three of us in this cell.

Aloserin had to know that was a risk. He’s from the Kingdom of the Fall; he would know better than anyone that Rensivar the Wicked can’t be trusted. But he came anyway. And now he’s waiting, his hand outstretched, for me to come to him.

He’s giving me a choice. To go with him, or not. To trust him, or not.

My breath catches somewhere between my lips, tangled in all the words I wish I’d said to him back when we had the chance. Before everything we’d shared shattered into a million pieces. The dim lamplight dances across his features, his dark, tangled hair and stern expression, and for just a moment there’s something in his eyes that makes me think of the void, of the night when he’d stumbled into the circle of my firelight after running from me. I’m terrible at this, he’d said, and there’d been something so soft and wounded in his eyes that I’d wanted to pull him into my arms and never let him go. And now he’s only a step away from me, such a small distance, but he’s waiting for me to bridge it.

And so I do. I step forward and place my hand in his. His fingers are cool as they close around mine. My muscles pull tight, waiting for the flow of his magic to drag me under, but it doesn’t come. Aloserin smiles at me in a way that makes me want to cry.

“May I pick you up?” he whispers.

I don’t think I could speak even if King Grathgore suddenly appeared and said my life depended on it. I nod instead. Aloserin steps around Rowan’s body, pulls me close, and then sweeps me into his arms. I rest my head against his chest and close my eyes, trying not to hear his heartbeat, trying not to feel the warmth of his body sinking into my arms and legs.

Because this is wrong. I’m not worth the trade. I should be screaming in protest. I should stay here, in this cell, where I belong, and let Rowan and Aloserin go back to their important lives.

But, stars help me, I’m not strong enough to say no to him.