Page 31 of Queen of War and Ruin

MARITAL ADVICE

I’m sinking my dagger into the cork of my third bottle of wine when an armed, scowling royal guard finds me. Fair. I’m sitting on a stool in the middle of the hunting lodge’s kitchen while the people who actually belong here look at me like they’re trying to determine if I’m going to bite.

It’s not like I’m trying to hide.

“The prince wants to see you,” the guard says.

He raises his eyebrow as he says it, as though he’s not quite sure what the prince could possibly want with a piece of shit like me. Hells, he’s got a point there.

“Just a minute,” I say.

I narrow my eyes at the pulsating cork, then slide it out of the bottle. There’s a satisfying pop. I bring the bottle to my lips and then stagger to my feet.

“Great,” I say. “Let’s go.”

The guard leads me back upstairs, to exactly where I was before my entire world went to shit. I tell myself not to look, but since I’ve never listened to myself before, I ignore my own advice and glance out at the little porch.

And she’s gone. Of course.

I follow the man into the room at the top, where the prince is sitting next to his bride. They both come to their feet as I approach. Elrick narrows his eyes at me like maybe he was expecting someone else.

“Are you drunk?” he asks.

I glare at him, this idiot who has so little strategic sense that he let his heart decide who he was going to marry. Hells. His sister already hates me. I don’t have any reason to try to impress this asshole, or anyone else in this shitty place.

So I take a long pull from the wine bottle as what’s left of Marion’s leadership stares at me. It’s not particularly good wine, but it beats the shit out of the bitter ale at Bertha’s pub. I wipe my mouth with my sleeve, then give the prince a polite little bow that makes the room spin around me.

“No,” I lie. “But I am working on it.”

“Maybe this should wait,” he replies.

“Oh, no, no,” I say, waving my bottle at him. “Please. Don’t leave me in suspense.”

The prince touches the dagger in his belt. I snort; it’s so fucking obvious he’s uneasy around me. What an idiot.

“This might be a little, um, sensitive,” the prince begins.

I drink again, then cross my arms over my chest.

“What?” I spit. “Are you going to ask me for some marital advice?”

The prince and his wife look at each other, then back to me. Cute. Real cute. The prince opens his mouth. Closes it. Clears his throat. Opens his mouth again.

“Your, uh, marriage,” he begins. “To my sister.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“I’ve been led to believe it can be annulled,” the prince says.

“Suck me,” I reply.

“Right,” he says.

The prince looks at me like he can’t believe he has to waste his time talking to me. I look at him in the exact same way. Beside him, Anura huffs.

“Your marriage is unconsummated,” Anura says. “So, legally, it can be annulled.”

“I don’t see how the consummation of my marriage is any of your business,” I snap.