Page 52 of Queen of War and Ruin

I close my mouth, swallow, and turn back to her.

Gods, she’s beautiful. The early morning light softens her features, making her look incredibly kissable. This is not the time, damn it, but I can’t help the flood of memories that rush through my body when I stare at her soft lips. The noises she made when I filled her. The way her whole body pulled tight with her climax, how she screamed my name when she fell apart.

Fuck. I held her against my chest last night and watched her shoulders rise and fall as she caught her breath, and all the things I need to tell her battered the inside of my skull like angry hornets.

I can’t stay married to this woman. She deserves better. Hells, her entire kingdom deserves better. And maybe she would be happier here, with Laurance, that idiot of a prince. She’ll have an entire stable full of horses in Ethiria.

And with me, the son of the gardener for a ruined kingdom?

She’d have absolutely nothing.

I swallow hard, fighting the bitterness in the back of my throat. Divorcing this woman, setting her free, it’s going to break me. Malrik could not have crafted a better weapon, my mind whispers. Not if he had all the time in the world.

I glance down at the table, then back to my wife.

“Be careful,” I say.

Gerard looks at me like I’ve just said something hilarious. I have to stifle the urge to punch that son of a bitch right in the mouth.

“I will,” Lilias replies. “Honestly, I’ll probably be safer here in the castle than you’ll be with Laurance’s guards.”

“Great,” I mutter under my breath.

And I glare at Elrick.

Chapter 29

Lilias

STILL MARRIABLE

Idon’t have an overabundance of outfits to choose from.

I rock back on my heels and frown at the two dresses I pulled from the saddlebags that were brought to our room. Anura’s mother was kind enough to wash the faded green traveling dress Agnes gave me in Dungal, but that was before I stuffed it into a bag for three days of hard travel over the mountain pass.

Still, it’s better than my second option. A servant’s dress from the hunting camp that’s probably been stored in a cedar chest since before I was born. Anura’s mother washed that one too, gods bless her, and steamed out the wrinkles. Still, the white accents have gone yellow. And it’s obviously something a woman would wear to work in the kitchen.

With a sigh, I pull off the heavy velvet dress I wore last night. It’s my nicest dress, which is why I wore it as we rode to the palace, but I can’t wear it two days in a row. I shake it out, then walk to the wardrobe to hang it up.

My cheeks burn as I glance at the thick carpet, which is now stained dark red and still smells like wine. I can’t believe I was on my hands and knees there last night, with Zarek⁠—

My heart does a strange little flutter, and I gulp air. Gods, I didn’t know it could feel like that. How does anyone do anything at all when you could make love like that instead?

I walk over to the washbasin, splash my cheeks with cool water, then dry my face with a towel. I’ll talk to Zarek tonight. I’ll apologize for not believing him, for doubting there was something more going on in Ethiria. He saw the truth before any of us. I’ll tell him I’m sorry, that I should have listened to him⁠—

Maybe after I bend over for him again.

The thought makes me feel like the room is too hot, and suddenly, I just want the day to be over. I pull on the dress from Dungal, with its sensible cut and soft, faded green folds, take a few deep breaths, and leave the room to request a tour of the stables.

I start in the reception room where we waited for Prince Laurance yesterday. The plates of crackers are still on the sideboard, but there’s no one in the room. Odd. I wander the hall between our room and the reception area, smiling politely, but I still don’t find anyone. It’s like the entire floor is deserted.

After a bit of wandering, I find a door that leads to a large patio. I push it open, then step outside. A gust of wind presses my dress against my legs. In the distance, the ocean sparkles like a bowl filled with gems. I walk to the railing and stare at the sunlight spilling over the water. This place looks familiar, almost like I’ve been here in a dream.

“Oh, there you are,” a man says from behind me.

I jump, then take a breath to calm myself. When I turn around, I see Prince Laurance standing in the doorway behind me. I bow politely.

“Prince Laurance,” I say as cheerfully as I can manage. “I thought you were joining my brother for the tour.”