Page 10 of The Ghost of Exes Past

‘How long is this gonna take?’ she asks quietly.

Just then the lad she was kissing turns to sip his drink and … ‘Wait, were you in love with Peter Cox?’ I stop.

Belle rolls her eyes. ‘I was fourteen, thank you – and no, I was not in love with Peter. I wanted to snog Matty.’

I look over to Matty, with his silly fringe, so long I can hardly understand how he could see from behind it. Why do all teen girls love an emo skater boy?

I narrow my eyes. ‘Why are we here, then? This is supposed to be about something important.’

‘Because we said we’d try a quick one! Anyway, it didn’t mean much,’ she replies nonchalantly, twiddling with her earring.

‘No, Belle, this is serious. You’re the one worried about timekeeping but you’re missing the point.’ I face her now, throwing my hands in the air. ‘This memory has to mean something or it wouldn’t have worked, so what is it? What am I— are you supposed to be learning from this?’

We both turn as sharp howls rupture from the centre of the room. Two teens are making out so hard that they’ve spilled the Pringles tube and one has salsa on their knee. Harry is frantically trying to pick up crumbs from the carpet. Teen Belle helps him by sweeping them into her hands. She looks around, unsure of what to do with them, and sits, holding broken crisps in her sweaty palms.

I sigh. ‘I don’t want to watch a bunch of fourteen-year-olds snog if it doesn’t even matter.’

We both watch as young Belle fidgets with the black choker on her neck, twisting it so much while staring at Matty that it’s leaving a red mark. The adult Belle next to me winces with embarrassment.

‘Stop looking at me like that,’ she mutters.

I shake my head. ‘Did something happen with Peter or not?’

She shuffles her feet on the dingy basement carpet, frowning and avoiding catching my eye. ‘No, it’s not like that.’

‘Who was your first love, then?’ I want to know what I’m going to witness as the night goes on. What the point of any of this is. And, honestly, I didn’t think she’d be so embarrassed, considering I used to know every part of her.

‘You’re right, this is a waste of time. Can we just go back?’ I notice she wraps her arms around herself, but she can’t get away this easily. Surely, the hard bits are still to come – this should be the easy bit.

I cut in, almost pleading now. ‘I mean, who was your first actual relationship?’

‘I have a wedding to get back to, Jake.’

There it is again. The way she says my name, like I’m a misbehaving dog. Like she’s the adult here and I’m just wasting her precious time. I step towards her now, jabbing a finger in her direction. ‘Right, and I think your first love would be a decent place to start.’

‘Jake, just take me back,’ she whines.

Why is she being so shitty? We used to be able to talk about everything and now she’s acting super shifty. Is there something I’m missing? I look back at young Belle, who has moved now, perched on the side of a ratty sofa, swigging Fanta from a chipped teacup, shoulders hunched like she’s trying to disappear into herself. She still keeps glancing over to Matty, who’s now trying to balance a can of Strongbow on his forehead. His tragic fringe keeps getting in the way.

‘Oh my God!’ I’m grinning now – I know I am, because Belle’s face is doing that thing where she shuts down when she knows I’ve got her. ‘You were in love with Matty!’ I bark out a laugh, a sound I haven’t heard in years.

Belle physically steps back. ‘I wasn’t!’ Her tone is climbing, like a hungry bird, the more we argue.

I don’t believe her at all. ‘Then why are you being so weird?’ I say, stepping forward and grabbing her arm.

She shakes my hand off and looks up at me. ‘Because my first love was you! Okay?!’

The voices drop away. The CD player clicks to silence. The only sound left is Belle’s flustered breathing. I watch as Harry walks over to put in another disc.

I’m her first love? That can’t be right.

I shake my head, confused. ‘But what about that guy from uni? What was his name … Xavier?’

Belle’s face turns beetroot red. ‘Ugh! I made him up, okay! I made him up so you wouldn’t think I was a total love virgin! I was embarrassed.’ She throws her hands up and starts backing towards the stairs. ‘Now can we please go back to my wedding? I’m going to lose it if I have to listen to another second of smooching and shitty pop.’

I stand, genuinely stunned, for about five seconds. Then it hits me and I can’t help it. I start laughing. Properly laughing, belly deep, shoulder-shaking laughter. ‘Oh, that makes SO much sense!’

‘Jake.’ She balls her hands into fists at her side, jaw tight. ‘I am warning you.’