Page 79 of The Ghost of Exes Past

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means what it means.’

‘A straight answer for once would be greatly appreciated.’

‘It means you’re done, Jake. Get some sleep.’

‘That’s it? No explanation? No heaven or hell pep-talk? Not even a debrief?’

Gabe tuts and leans his hands on his knees, bracing himself to get up. The floor groans under him. ‘That’s it, petal. It’s nearly midnight, I’ll pass you on shortly.’

‘I’ll get my lifejacket ready for the boat trip, I guess.’ A laugh bubbles in my chest but doesn’t quite make it.

My last moments before the afterlife, then. I look at Belle, and something drops away in my stomach, the way it does in dreams when you think you’re falling.

‘If this is it, can you just let me have one more moment with her?’

‘Sure thing, kid,’ Gabe says without looking back, as he turns and takes a step towards the mirror.

‘Hey, Gabe,’ I call out. He stops.

‘You’re genuinely terrible company, you know that?’

‘Humph?’

‘I mean it. Like, the worst ten years of my life.’

Gabe’s mouth moves under his beard. I’ll take that as a smile.

‘Thank you,’ I say then, quietly enough that he could ignore it if he wanted. But he doesn’t. He nods, a small movement, quick.

‘I think I’ll miss you, in some sort of demented way.’

‘Hah!’ The products on the table next to him rattle as he laughs.

‘You were shit to watch movies with, though.’

‘I’ve never liked romcoms.’

And then he’s gone. No fanfare. That’s Gabe. Behind me the glass from the bedside table rolls to the floor and, at the same time, the room heats up a touch – I can feel that. I catch the seconds on the alarm clock start ticking away again. I slowly pick up the glass and walk it to the bathroom to refill it with water before placing it back on the bedside table. Just in case she gets thirsty in the night.

I creep back into bed, and as I spoon my body around Belle, she shifts back towards me.

I don’t think about what comes next. I just listen to her breathe, count her freckles for the last time.

That’s enough. That was enough.

Outside, small flakes fly past the window. Light at first, then heavier.

Snow.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Belle

I have a lump in my throat, a sore head, and a hole in my heart. I woke to an empty room, cold sheets, and silence.

Did we even say goodbye?