Page 31 of Don’t Forget Me

What he didn’t understand was that those words gave me hope. Strength, but also heartache. I couldn’t do this. I was engaged. To someone who didn’t make me feel the way I felt with Ezra. A man who wasn’t Ezra.

With all of my willpower, I let go. There was nothing but anguish on his face.

“Why?” I said. His brow furrowed. “Why did you have to ruin us?”

He shook his head. “There’s no excuse for what I did.”

“Tell me. Why did you do it?”

“I can’t.”

“Help me understand. What did I do for you to betray me like that?”

And suddenly, he looked every bit the mess that I was. There’d been tears swelling in his ocean gaze. “I can’t give you a reason. There are no justifications for what I did.”

There was no point in trying to understand.

I let out a small breath and recomposed myself, stepping away from him. “We should get back. I’m sure they’re waiting for us.”

“Lysandra,” he began, as I continued forward. But there was one flaw in my plan, I didn’t know my way out of here. I wouldn’t be able to hide from him. I had given him a glimpse of the real me, and I already regretted it.

It would be foolish of me to expose myself like that again. “Can you lead the way, please?”

I pushed the emotions that were tumbling out of me into the deepest parts of my soul. I was great at masking my pain anyway, what were a few hours around Ezra? Nothing. The hours I spent without him were heavier than the ones around him.

He sighed.

Ezra led the way to the audition room.

I pushed all of my thoughts about him aside. I had to focus on finding the right actors to fit into my characters’ profiles. I found my seat, two spaces away from Ezra’s. A production assistant provided me with a notepad and a pen, which I held onto firmly as several actors auditioned.

Hopefully we would be able to pick the protagonists by the end of the week.

fifteen

LYSANDRA

5 YEARS AGO

My first day hadn’t been as bad as I thought it would be following the incident in the cafeteria.

The girls here were definitely belligerent, specifically toward my ethnicity. They noticed the accent in my last name and the harsh syllables that spilled from my mouth as I spoke in my second language.

For some reason, their English seemed much more advanced than my own, even though I used to pride myself on my pronunciations. Everyone back home told me just how much my accent had disappeared when I spoke English.

But the girls here uncovered insecurities I didn’t even know I had.

I had no choice but to push through it. Camille found her place within the halls of the academy more quickly than I did. For some reason, I had a sense that I would live my entire life roaming this world without finding an abode for myself. I hated this feeling.

One thing was for sure, I had no regrets about coming here. Even though I’d have to struggle more to find my place in this new society. There was nothing I could do but try to live with what I had.

“And there’s this boy, oh gosh, he’s something from another world. I’ve never seen eyes so blue before,” Camille babbled. “I have him for two of my classes and—ugh! Should I talk to him tomorrow? Perhaps I could charm him. What do you think Lys? Lys? Lysandra!”

“What?” I asked.

“Did you hear what I said?” she questioned.

“Yes, I did. I just didn’t find the topic worthy of a response.” I flipped the pages of my copy of Jane Eyre, letting the scent of paper fill my nose.