Page 87 of Don’t Forget Me

Tears spilled from the corner of my eyelids.

When our cackling died down, I let out a breath. As I cleaned my face, there had been a small rectangular envelope that I caught from the corner of my eye. The small envelope had been hidden under my backpack; it must’ve fallen from my desk when I set my jacket over the chair. I slipped the card out from underneath my bag.

My chest almost burst when I read the name sprawled on the corner.

Ezra

Any slivers of joy rushed away as I was reminded of my reason for desertion of this school.

To be truthful, I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay. This castle was the first to accept me, the beginning of my transformation. Blackthorn House Academy represented the genesis of my exodus out of the haunted life I lived in California. But simply being in the same classes as him reminded me of how tortured I was. Being near him felt like I was near my source of oxygen again, and I didn’t believe in making another human being responsible for my happiness.

When I found out that Ezra had betrayed me, all of my glee had crumbled along with our relationship. It made me quiver to think that I truly cared for this boy. I felt ill just by thinking about how he had deceived me.

“What is it?” Camille asked, scooting across the floor to sit beside me. She gasped when she read his name at the top. “Open it.”

“What?” I asked. Camille said that she hated Ezra, Zack, and Scarlett for having collaborated in staining my reputation at the academy. Not that I cared about my reputation, I had already lost all of it because of the color of my skin. I knew nothing would change my peer’s judgment, but I did care about having been betrayed by the only person I had ever opened myself up to.

“Yeah, open it. What if there’s money inside or something?”

I scoffed. “You think he’s going to bribe me to try and get back together with me?”

It was hard to believe. Ezra stooped to a new low, but I didn’t think he’d go even lower. I hoped he hadn’t, then I’d have to question myself for even loving him in the first place.

Did I just say that? No, I didn’t. I didn’t just say that.

“I’m saying, he might offer you money as an act of good faith because he feels remorseful for hurting you. Those are two very different things.”

“That’s a bribe, Camille,” I answered.

“Whatever. Open it, I’m curious.”

I hummed, ripping the envelope open. The page had been filled with his writing. I’d be able to identify his voice, his writing, his laugh, his quirks, his smell anywhere, and I hated that about myself. He had become a person I would recognize from a mile away. A known stranger. A time machine to the past.

My fingers trembled as I began reading, Camille reading intently beside me.

Dear Lysandra,

I know I’m the last person that you want to hear from after the pain I’ve caused you. I understand that I made choices that ruined the bonds of our alchemy. And that is why I promise not to lie to you anymore.

I will tell you the truth.

I was given payments to approach you and get you to talk to me. My friends felt dejected by you and claimed you to be a lost cause. I accepted their challenge to get you to speak to me. At first, I thought that I would get you to talk to me, and it would end there. But the more that we conversed, the more I was convinced that you were the perfect embodiment of a poem. You made my spirit feel alive when you smiled. The intelligence that you harbor in your mind baffled me, I wanted to know more. I learned with you. I continue to do so even at a distance.

I never planned to fall for you. Before I could even realize it, I had already been admiring you from across the room. Before I knew it, I was excited to go to class just to be able to sit next to you.

A piece of paper will never be enough payment for the price I must pay now that I have lost you. My heart is filled with sorrow as I feel that we will be parted for good. Which goes against every bone in my body.

You mentioned, earlier today, that you would be leaving the school and I know I am at fault for your decision. Do as you shall, follow your dreams, and reach them.

You have every right to be angry at me. I’m angry with myself as well. But I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me one day. However, if you choose not to, don’t forget me. I sure as hell won’t be forgetting you.

Love, Ezra.

I threw the letter onto the floorboard. The sun’s golden rays seeped through the curtain of our window, leaving lines etched across the page of the epistle. Camille’s warm hand rested on my shoulder, causing a lump to form in my throat. I wouldn’t cry anymore. No, no more. He wasn’t worthy of my pain.

Camille set her head on my shoulder as she rubbed my forearm. “We’ll get through this, together.”

thirty nine