Page 9 of Those Eyes, That Mouth

"Come on, you guys!" Alex called from the stairwell.

"One sec," Nathan said, shrugging on his jacket. He glanced back at me.

Our eyes met.

There was something uncertain in his expression. Almost apologetic.

I shoved my feet into my wingtips and we followed them out. The taste of our shared cigarette was still on my tongue.

We walked to the dining hall, Nathan and Kelly up ahead—Kelly hanging on his arm—and Alex and I following behind, slower than everyone else, deep in conversation as usual.

The place was packed with people lining their stomachs before heading out to whatever bonfire or house party they were hitting later. We grabbed trays and got in line.

Nathan loaded up—a heap of lasagna next to a mountain of salad smothered in ranch, with three garlic rolls on the corner of his tray and a glass of milk. In the dining hall, he always ate like he was trying to get his meal card’s worth in one sitting, but when we went anywhere off-campus, he usually nursed a Coke and said he wasn’t hungry.

The girls got a plate of fries to share. I grabbed some chicken nuggets and a coffee with a ton of cream and sugar.

Nathan looked at my tray. "That's it? That’s all you’re eating?”

I shrugged. “I just want a little something before we start drinking. I'll probably eat again later, after we go out.”

Kelly and Alex teased Nathan about the milk.

He said, "I love milk with Italian food."

We headed upstairs to the smoking section. Rows of long communal tables, thick with a permanent haze from all the Marlboros, Camels, and cloves. Most of this crowd was probably headed to the same show we were. Somebody from my comp class called out a greeting as we passed—some guy who was still struggling to figure out the difference between a metaphor and a simile. I nodded and kept moving. We found a gap at the end of a table near the windows.

Alex and I sat on one side. Nathan sat across from me. Kelly scooted her chair right next to Nathan the second she sat down, close enough that their shoulders almost touched.

I ate a few nuggets, barely tasting them. I pulled out my tobacco and papers and tried rolling a cigarette the way Nathan had shown me earlier—focusing on the tension of the paper, the distribution of the leaf. Anything to avoid the way Kelly was leaning into his personal space.

He was halfway through his lasagna when she reached over and just plucked a garlic roll off his plate. It was this casual, we’re basically a couple move.

Alex said, "Oh, I didn't see those. Give me a bite."

Kelly tore off a piece and handed it to her.

Nathan protested, but he was smiling. He got up and came back a minute later with a little plate of extra rolls. The girls grabbed them like they were starving.

He offered one to me.

I said, “No thanks. Vampires really shouldn't have garlic breath."

It came out bitchier than I meant it to.

Kelly laughed too loud. "Oh my God, you're so right. What if we want to kiss somebody later?"

Surely she meant it rhetorically, so I didn’t respond.

I managed to roll three cigarettes while they finished eating. I tucked them carefully into my tobacco pouch, one for the walk back and two for later.

I watched the clock.

Nathan was totally absorbed in his lasagna and ended up with tomato sauce on the corner of his mouth. Kelly reached up to wipe it away with her thumb.

He flinched—this sharp, sudden jerk of his head—and pulled back before she could even graze his skin. It was like he’d been poked with a live wire. He grabbed a napkin and scrubbed his mouth. He didn't even look at her.

Kelly just smiled. It was easy for her to reach out like that without any hesitation, as if she assumed she had permission.