Page 51 of Magnum, Volume 1

Shit, I didn’t want to answer that, but I met his gaze and said, “Really, really badly, Sir.”

He’d want details, so I gave them before he asked, “My hands were doing it on your orders, so it was kind of the same as you doing it, only…” I sighed. “It’s complicated, Sir, but I hated it, for the record.”

“But your cunt and that little clitty of yours disagreed,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, so I didn’t respond.

“If you weren’t trapped here, would you’ve stayed yesterday? Or would you’ve climbed into your car and left at some point?”

I felt my eyes go wide at the question. Never, not once, had it occurred to me to back out of it. I’d seen it on the calendar and watched it grow nearer. I’d known it was coming and hadn’t asked for time outside of power exchange to talk about it. Granted, he’d never given me a way to do that, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t demand it and get it.

“No, Sir. Never. If I wasn’t onboard with it, I’d have told you long before yesterday. I’m not following your orders because I have nowhere else to go. First off, if this wasn’t working for me, I’d tell you, Sir, and you’d send me back to my own bedroom and end it — you told me as much from the start. And if you didn’t?” I took a breath to finish. “I’d find another place to hide. I’m here because I need shelter from people who will torture me for information and then kill me and dispose of my body so it’s never found, but that doesn’t have anything to do with what we’re doing while I’m here.” I realized how long of a sentence that’d been, so I added, “Sir.”

He gave a nod. “Good answer, and yes, if this isn’t working for you, the protection arrangement doesn’t end. You go back to your own bedroom and get to clean my house in regular clothes.”

We ate in silence a few minutes, and he asked, “How do you feel now, knowing that when you give up your safeword, screaming it does nothing?”

I looked down, remembered I’d annoy him by answering without looking at him, and met his gaze again. “Relieved, Sir.”

Another nod, and then, “How did it feel last night, when it didn’t work?”

“Terrifying, Sir.”

“Gonna need more, slave.”

“I couldn’t take it. Truly couldn’t, Sir. Or, that’s what I thought. You were holding me down and hurting me so fucking much, and I couldn’t make it stop. I’d have done just about anything to make it stop.”

“So, you weren’t testing me?”

“I don’t think so. It’s possible that was some of it. I mean, I really didn’t think you’d stop, but I had to try, Sir. You’re big on rules, and you keep your word, but I still had to try.”

“I’m not looking for a pat, simple answer here, slave. Take a few minutes to think about it if you need to, but I want absolute truth that maybe you haven’t even admitted to yourself yet.” He paused a second to let that sink in before asking, “What did last night change between us?”

Chapter 22

Storm

I just stared at him while my brain went through answers I absolutely didn’t want to tell him. He had finally, fully claimed me last night. His dominance of me was more complete than any other Dom had ever managed. He hadn’t just hurt me, he’d broken me open and shattered my last walls. I was his in a way I’d never been for another man, and that thought terrified me.

But no way in fuck was I telling him that. I had to tell him the truth, but nothing said he got all of it.

“We’re more owner and owned now, Sir. There’s all kinds of data out there about breaking a slave and building her back, and you broke me open last night.”

He watched me while he chewed a bite of steak, considering, and finally said, “True, but not the absolute truth I asked for. There’s more.”

I looked down at my plate. How does he always know when I don’t give him the entire truth? No way would I ever dare lie to him, even if that wasn’t part of my moral code with Doms and boyfriends — if I can’t be honest with them, the relationship isn’t working and it’s time to leave. But that doesn’t mean they always get the full truth, especially so early in a relationship.

But somehow, Magnum always knew when I was only giving him part of an answer.

I looked back up to meet his gaze. “I’m not really sure how to articulate the rest of it, Sir. Yes, there’s more, but do you really need to know you’ve claimed more of me than any other Dom has managed? That whatever strings are between us grew stronger and shorter last night?” I rolled my eyes. “It sounds silly when I say it out loud, Sir.”

“The truth is never silly, and yes, I felt it, too. You’re more mine now than you were, but that also feels… precarious. You haven’t agreed to stay past the danger, and I don’t even know if you’d be interested in that.” He held a hand up. “Don’t answer that, slave. I’m not inviting and you aren’t asking. It might be a conversation we have another day, but not yet, and not during high-protocol hours.”

“Thanks for that, Sir. For the record, it probably is a conversation we should have at some point, but not hours after you completely obliterated me, please Sir.”

When we finished eating and he ordered me to stand, I dreaded having to go to my toes again, but I did so as gracefully as I could manage and just told my calves to deal with it. Fuck, they wanted to cramp and bitch about it, though.

“Upstairs, slave,” he said, surprising me, because I was supposed to clean the kitchen now.

But no way in fuck was I going to argue with him, so I turned and made my way up the steps — and stayed on my toes even once out of his sight.