Page 187 of Wicked Brutal

I rock against him, both of us breathing like the fight is still happening in our bodies. I reach between us and line him up. No teasing. No asking. I sink down in one fast, messy slide and the sound that leaves me is half a curse. Ryan’s hands lock on my hips. He doesn’t thrust up. He lets me.

“Fuck—“ My forehead drops to his. “I hated today. I hated the car. I hated Caldwell. I hated Bennett looking at me like I was already gone.” I lift and drop again, taking him deep, setting a pace that’s too fast to be sweet. “I hated you in that dining hall.” Another roll of my hips. “I hated my notebook on the floor. I hated Switzerland coming out of your mouth. I hated that it worked.”

“Take it,” he rasps. “Take what you want. I’m right here.”

“I hated how good you are at being that boy.” I kiss him, teeth and breath. “I hated that I still looked for you after.”

His grip tightens. Still not steering. Holding on.

“That’s it.” Rough. Low. Almost a growl. “That’s my girl. Use me. Ride me like you’re still pissed. You look so fucking pretty taking what you want.”

I slam down harder and he groans like it hurts in the good way.

“God, I love you.” It comes out wrecked. “I love you and I love this and I hate that I needed it after you made a whole room laugh at me.”

“I know.” His mouth finds my throat. “Hate me. Love me. Keep moving. You’re doing so good. Taking me so deep. So tight. Mine. Even when you’re furious. Especially then.”

I grab his hair and kiss him while I ride him — fast, messy, using his lap like the only place today gets to end. His praise stays rough, not soft.

“That’s it. Fuck. Look at you. My brave, stubborn girl. You don’t run. You come in here and take me apart. Good. Do it. I can take it. I want it.”

“Ryan—“

His hands flex but he still doesn’t flip us, doesn’t take over. “You wanted control. Have it. I’m yours. Come on. Show me you still want the real one. Not the asshole from lunch. Me.”

I sink down and stay there a second, full, shaking.

“I want you,” I say against his mouth. “I hated you. I want you. Both. At the same time.”

“Then take me.” His voice is wrecked. “Take all of it. I’m not going anywhere.”

I keep going. Faster. Sloppier. His name in my mouth like an argument I can’t win. The anger and the love and the dining hall and the heartbeat all stack until there’s nowhere left for them to go except through me.

“Ryan—“

I break with a sob. It isn’t pretty. It isn’t quiet. I come hard around him, shaking in his lap, and the orgasm drags the day out of me with it — tears spilling hot down my face before I can stop them. I clutch his shoulders and cry into his neck while my body keeps pulsing, and I hate that I’m crying during this, and I can’t stop.

“Hey.” His voice changes instantly. He flips us in one careful motion — my back to the mattress, him over me, still inside me, weight braced so nothing lands on my stomach. He wipes my face with his thumb. Kisses the tears. One. Then another. “You did so good. You took what you needed. You don’t have to be sharp right now.”

I hiccup a breath. “I’m still mad.”

“I know.” A kiss to my cheek. Soft. Slow. “Be mad. Cry. Do both. I’m not leaving.”

He starts to move again, but it’s different now. Slow. Deep. Sweet in a way that makes the tears worse. He kisses my mouth like he’s putting me back together one inch at a time.

“I love you,” he murmurs. “I love you so much it makes me stupid. So much I went too far today. So much I can’t watch you treat yourself like the acceptable loss.”

“Please—“

“Listen.” Another slow thrust. Another kiss to wet skin. “You are not the price. You are the girl I love, and you are carrying our baby, and Tobias is ours too whether a court has said it yet or not.”

I cry harder. He kisses the tears anyway.

“I’m still angry,” he says against my mouth, honest, not cruel. “I’m angry you let him put hands on you. I’m angry you will walk into anything if it keeps him safe. I’m angry the world taught you that you come last.” His forehead rests on mine. “But I love you more than I’m angry. And I will keep choosing you. I will keep protecting you. I will keep protecting this baby.” His hand slides between us, gentle over the small swell. “And I will keep fighting for Tobias. All three. I meant it.”

I nod, wrecked, still full of him, still crying.

“Breathe, baby,” he whispers. “Stay with me.”