Page 119 of You + Me – Against the World

I stare at the screen, surprised. And nervous.

Alma_from_paris: What did you tell her?

Arcadius: Your intensity and your passion, even when you try to hide them so you can better play the role you were born into. Your need to challenge everything, your thirst for adventure, your courage, your convictions. Your heart—so pure, so brave. It’s exactly what this world needs. You dream big, you see farther than others, Alma. It brings tears to my eyes.

Alma_from_paris: I don’t know where you got all that from…

Arcadius: Stop putting yourself down. Stop apologizing for existing, Lancaster! Ever since I decided not to go to Russia, you’ve been fading away… Wake up, yell at me, push back against me!

Alma_from_paris: You’re an idiot, Arcadi.

Arcadius: That’s more like it.

Alma_from_paris: An idiot who understands everything.

Arcadius: Oh, yeah?

Alma_from_paris: I was so afraid of losing you, Vadim, that I still can’t believe you came back for me. And now that you’re here, I feel like I could break everything just by touching it. I’m so afraid of not being enough for you that I let you get what you need from other people. Because I love you more than anything—more than myself.

Arcadius: Damn it, Alma, you’re the one I want! This is the Alma I want!

Alma_from_paris: Even if I’m sitting here crying my eyes out all over my computer keyboard?

Arcadius: Yes. And even if I have to go to some damn wildlife conservation camp on Santa Catalina Island. And even if I have to punch a giant basketball player in the face to remind him that you’re mine.

40

I don’t remember when, or more importantly how, he managed to pull it off, but Abrams got me to promise I’d come by his place to work on my short film before spring break. He was afraid I’d fall behind or neglect my work during the week off—which does admittedly tend to wreak havoc on students’ study habits. Clearly, he was imagining the stereotypical Californian spring break: massive pool parties, ultra-skimpy outfits, spectacularly stupid stunts, binge drinking, debauchery, and every kind of excess. The long and short of it is that spring break starts tomorrow, and tonight I’m obligated to attend a study session with my know-it-all professor and a gloomy old Basset Hound who gets a little more sluggish every time I see him—and smells a little worse, too.

Except tonight is also the night Vadim is supposed to go for a drink with Roman, after I spent days and days trying to convince him to give his brother another chance. And of course, I had promised to come too; that was part of the deal. Tomorrow, at the crack of dawn, we leave for Santa Catalina Island, my suitcase isn’t packed, and I still have to squeeze two evenings into one.

Breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth…

Right after letting Vadim know that I’ll be a little late, for reasons I keep as vague as possible, I ring Mr. Abrams’s doorbell at exactly six o’clock. I hope to be able to escape in an hour’s time. And I’ve already got it all planned out: the excuse will be a family dinner, specifically the Lancaster tradition of getting everyone together on the eve of school vacations, before everyone goes their separate ways. It’s plausible.

Caleb answers the door, his expression even more tense than usual. For a split second, I wonder if something happened to his father. A heart attack, a car accident, a nervous breakdown? I hope it’s nothing serious… but enough that we are forced to postpone.

I enter, and it hits me that Mr. Abrams isn’t even home. Hitchcock is lying at the foot of Abrams’s armchair looking forlorn, his eyelids red and drooping. He’s whining and begging for his master to be returned to him.

“This dog is a such a pain. He just gives up on life whenever my dad isn’t here. Well, ‘his’ dad!” Caleb sighs as he steps over the mutt.

“What can I say? There’s always a favorite son!” I joke.

“Yeah, and I knew right away it wouldn’t be me!”

“Is your dad going to be home soon? We’re supposed to work, and I don’t have a lot of time.”

“You can leave whenever you want. He’s going to be home late.”

“Oh? He forgot about me? Weird, that doesn’t sound like him. A date?”

“No. Well, yes, kind of. Let’s just say that a date is the reason, but he’s not on one…” Cal stammers, looking at his feet.

“I don’t get what you mean.”

Unfortunately, though, I think I’m starting to understand.

“Actually, um… How can I put this? I couldn’t bring myself to ask you out somewhere, so my dad suggested inviting you here. There. Now you’re going to make fun of me, and on top of that, I’m indebted to him for life. I think I’m done for.”