Page 58 of The Scottish Island Inn

‘Yeah. I had a similar business on the mainland before then. Moved back to Skye and set this place up then.’

‘Why did you move back?’ She stared out at the field. In the distance, two magpies flew up, chattering, from a row of oak trees.

‘I wanted to be closer to you. Your mother didn’t want me here, but she couldn’t stop me. She made it very clear that I wasn’t to approach you. But… I wanted to come home, and I wanted to at least walk on the same earth as you, even if I wasn’t allowed to be in your life.’

‘You moved back to Skye for me?’ Sorrel gaped at him. ‘But we never even met! And… I left the island ten years ago. This is the first time I’ve been back.’

‘I know. I heard, some weeks after you’d gone, that you’d disappeared. I thought you’d come back. I waited.’ He sighed. ‘I mean, I wanted to be here, too. This is home for me. But yeah. I wanted you to walk in one day and ask to see me. And you did.’

‘Why didn’t Mum want you to see me?’

‘Hasn’t she told you anything about me?’ He picked up a stone from the floor, wiped it with his hand and palmed its weight.

‘Nothing. She wouldn’t have told me that Angus wasn’t my biological father, but I found out by accident. The night I left. Ten years ago.’

‘Oh. I mean, when I’d heard you’d left, I thought something might have happened. I’d gone to see Catriona around that time.’

‘What happened between you?’ Sorrel needed to know.

‘I would have expected your mother to tell you.’ He made a face. ‘This puts me in an awkward position, Sorrel. I’m happy to give you my version of events, but you should speak to your mother.’

‘I will. I know that I need to.’ Sorrel sighed, thinking of Catriona’s message again.

‘I see. Okay, well, you know that Catriona and I were going out before she married Angus. Catriona and I went out for a couple of years. I was twenty when we met.’ He paused, thinking, then continued. ‘We were in love. I don’t want you to think that we weren’t. You were conceived in love. Not on purpose, I’ll admit, but Catriona and I loved each other.

‘I will say that we had quite a tempestuous relationship. We were young. We were both headstrong. God knows your mother always wants to be right.’ He sighed. ‘We fought quite a lot. I loved her, though. But when she found out she was pregnant, she pulled away from me. I wanted to be with her; I wanted to raise you, our child. But she didn’t want that.’

‘Why not? Because you argued a lot?’ Sorrel felt so tense that her leg was jiggling involuntarily. She stretched it out and rotated her ankle a few times as a remedy.

‘I think so. There were some arguments that were… very heated. I won’t pretend that I was a saint. I never touched her, but I had a filthy temper when I was young. I would get wildly jealous. And she just wasn’t one to lie down and take my temper. She fought back. We always made up, and the making up was…’ he trailed off, and cleared his throat. ‘Well. That was a long time ago. But anyway, Catriona decided that she didn’t want to see me any more. So, she cut all contact.’

‘Did you try and make it up with her?’ Sorrel asked. She knew that her mother was headstrong and determined. Nothing Malcolm was saying particularly surprised her, but she’d had the impression – from what Catriona had told her, all those years ago, and what Aunt Chrissie had said about Malcolm being aggressive – that her biological father was a bad man.

But it didn’t seem like he was. Malcolm Sinclair seemed like a decent, thoughtful guy. He was admitting his mistakes. He was sitting down with Sorrel, quietly, and having an honest conversation.

‘Yes. I tried more than once. She told me I was harassing her.’ He lowered his voice. ‘She was pregnant with my child – you. I wanted us to be together. Maybe I did come on a bit strong. But… she’d made up her mind. And the last time I went to see her, Angus was there. And she told me that she and Angus were together now, and that he was going to help her with the baby.’

‘I mean, they stayed together. They have five other daughters apart from me,’ Sorrel said. ‘They’ve always been so solid as a couple.’

‘Yeah. I know. The Balhennie clan went from strength to strength, it seemed.’ He nodded. ‘I couldn’t stay here and watch your mother have her happy-ever-after with Angus, when it was my baby that they were pretending was his. So, I went to live on the mainland for twenty years or so. I let them have their wedded bliss. But after you were twenty, I thought, you were an adult, and you should at least know who I was. So, I came back. I went to see your mother. And she refused. Five years later I came back and asked again, and she ran me off their land. Told me that if I ever came back asking about you, she’d see to it that I was run off Skye altogether.’

‘Oh, my goodness! I had no idea she did that!’ Sorrel gripped the edge of the bench they sat on. ‘She threatened you?’

‘Yeah. I was inclined to doubt it, and then, a week after, I got a formal letter from the Laird. That’s your uncle. Saying that if I set foot on Balhennie land ever again, they’d press charges for harassment, and get my leasehold for this place revoked. So, I stayed away.’ He rested his chin on his hands and leaned forward, staring out at the field.

‘I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.’ Sorrel breathed. She leaned forward too, so that she was gazing out over the field with him.

‘You have nothing to apologise for.’ Malcolm turned to her and smiled wearily. ‘I’m just so glad that you came here. That I got to see what a beautiful girl you turned out to be.’

THIRTY-THREE

Malcolm walked Sorrel to the car, where Heather was waiting. She looked up from her phone as they approached, winding down the window.

‘Okay?’ she asked her sister, caution on her sweet features. Sorrel nodded, wondering if Heather was primed to leap out of the Land Rover and grab the shotgun from the back seat.

‘I’m fine. This is Malcolm.’ Sorrel looked at her biological father. ‘This is my sister, Heather.’

Heather got out of the car and shook Malcolm’s hand.