Page 56 of Defensive Indifference

“I think he got the point.” Lottie offers me some nachos and thus begins the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time.

Annie has been a good friend to me from the start of her employment, but it’s nice to call Lottie a friend, too. It feels good to cheer with someone, laugh and joke around, share something in common with someone who is closer to my age.

When Koa hits a home run, Dustin leaps into the air and screams, dropping half of his food on the ground. I can’t be frustrated, not with my son having such a good time.

For the first time, truly, I let myself think this might not be good, but amazing. Dustin could one day have a father who loves him, teaches him, and supports him in ways only a father can. He can have a happy home where we don’t have to worry whether we’ll be able to pay the rent or if we can get a ride here and there if the car dies. He’ll have an amazing time traveling the coast with me—with us in the offseason—and learn so much.

He’ll have a family. One that is more than seeing my aunt and uncle once a year if we’re lucky. It’ll be a family that surrounds him all the time.

There will be trades from the team, new people coming while loved ones leave, but I know we’ll always have the Rossi family. We’ll have Annie. Spencer and Katie.

Koa.

The man I thought I would despise for the rest of my life might be the man I’ve been waiting for all this time.

Lottie makes a bathroom run and comes back with more treats, including cotton candy, thus spoiling my child beyond belief. It’s the best time, especially when Spencer also hits a home run and seals the win for the Sharks. When all is said and done, it’s been a great game with great company, and I can’t wait to do it again.

“Do you want to head down to the waiting area with me? I can easily convince Edna to let you in the after-game lounge,” Charlotte asks.

“I guess that would be nice. I probably should,” I admit, knowing Koa will want to discuss this tee of mine. I’m sure there will be plenty of talking in the days and weeks to come, but I’m ready for it. Nervous, for sure, but ready.

“Mom, look!” Dustin points to the top of the stairs where Koa bounds down them two and three at a time. The crowd parts for him, but they are too curious about what is happening to leave once he passes. Everyone is looking at us, watching to see why he is out of breath, running toward me.

Koa reaches me with a cautious, worried expression. Stopping in front of me, he catches his breath, keeping eye contact. “Does this mean…I mean…are you sure? Does this mean…what we agreed it would mean?” he huffs.

“That I’m ready to try this relationship?” He nods. “It does.”

“It does? It means…we’re in this together then? All the way, working toward something really great…really…permanent?”

Now it’s my turn to nod. “Yes,” I croak.

“I’ve never wanted for anything in my life. Everything has always been handed to me, but none of that ever satisfied me. Even baseball sometimes feels empty. I didn’t know what my life was missing until you and Dustin. I hope you know that. I hope you know I’d give everything up for the two of you.”

My lips part with a gasp. “I know. Somehow, I do.”

Koa takes my hands and steps closer. “I can’t promise things won’t get bumpy with my family, but I can promise you that I will protect you with everything that I have. I’ll never leave you wondering how I feel or how much you mean to me, neither of you.” He looks over at Dustin, who is holding Lottie’s hand as if there is something major about to happen, a shift in his life that means he needs an anchor to hold him to the ground. Lottie hangs on every word with wide eyes.

“Are you absolutely sure this is what you want? Because after this moment, I’m not sure I can ever let you go.” He cups my cheek, eyes boring into mine.

I suck in a small breath, hands shaking, lip quivering. “All I’ve ever wanted was someone who loves my son.”

“What if that someone loves you too?”

I search his gaze, seeking the lie behind the words. It isn’t there.

“You caught me so hard, I’m not sure I can remember a time I didn’t love you. I don’t want to imagine it.” He chuckles and shakes his head. “It scares me to think of that. It’s like you’ve been in my heart forever, and now all I see is forever.” He raises his brow with a question. Is this what I want?

“I’ve never been more sure of anything. I want you, Koa.”

A huff of air escapes his lips, he relaxes, and leans in. Koa’s lips meet mine and every worry I ever had fades away. His gentle touch comforts me in ways I’ve never known. Cheers erupt around us, but I’m lost in this kiss, in the way he tells me without words how much he cherishes me. I spent so much time wanting a father for Dustin that I forgot how much I need this. I need him. His strength and comfort, his fierceness and loyalty. I need a good man as much as my son does.

“Ew,” Dustin cries.

Koa pulls back and chuckles, and that’s when we both notice we’re on the biggest screen known to man. Along the back of the field, our first real kiss was broadcast to the entire fanbase and then some.

“Oh, my gosh.” I cover my face while Koa ruffles Dustin’s hair.

“Don’t complain. This is all your doing, kid.”