He rubbed his face with both hands. Pressed his palms into his eyes.
"I don't know what I'm going to do, Liam."
I pulled him closer. His head came to my chest, and I held him there and his body was tense against mine, vibrating with the math he couldn't stop doing.
Eight fifteen. I could feel the clock without looking at it. Jerry didn't care about excuses.
"We'll figure it out," I said.
"That's not a plan."
"I know it's not a plan. And sometimes you don't need a plan. It's just one step at a time."
"So… what's first he turned to me." His blue eyes wanting an answer.
"Okay," I said. "I need to tell you something."
He lifted his head.
"I've been working at Jerry's. Not helping out. Working. Full time. Every day this month. Eight hours, eighty bucks a day, cash."
He looked at me.
"That's where I've been going when I texted you about errands."
He was quiet for a second. Then he put his head back on my chest.
"I figured," he said.
"You figured?"
"Liam. I know you well enough by now that you do what you need to get by."
"You're not surprised?"
"No."
I felt something loosen in my shoulders. He'd known. He'd been waiting. And it hadn't changed anything. I was seriously wrong about everything.
"I've gotta go in today," I said. "Jerry's expecting me at nine."
Alex sat up. Looked at the window like nine o'clock was a physical thing approaching from outside.
"Every day?"
"Every day. That's the deal." I sat up beside him. "But here's what I'm thinking. Jerry could probably use you too. He's got work. Boats to check, engines to drain, a whole lot of shrink-wrap that needs patching after every storm. He pays cash. Eighty a day."
Alex looked at me.
"Eighty dollars a day."
"Yeah."
"Liam. My tuition is forty thousand dollars a year. Eighty dollars a day doesn't fix that."
"I know it doesn't fix that."
"So, what's the point?"