Page 18 of Depraved

But that only layers over the agony of what I did to him. What I lost that night.

“I loved Brandon, and I killed him. I can never take it back.”

Rand touches two fingers beneath my chin, so I have no choice but to look up at him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You protected yourself. No one could blame you for that.”

I blink away the haze at the corners of my vision. He’s offering me a lifeline, and I don’t want to lose sight of him through a blur of tears.

“I blame myself,” I say, strained.

He caresses my cheek. “I don’t want this to haunt you anymore. Thank you for telling me. I need you to forgive yourself.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. Especially now that a stranger is coming after me because of what I did. He wouldn’t be here if he thought I was blameless.”

A shadow flutters at Rand’s jaw when I mention the man. “What else did he say to you? He knew about Brandon?”

I search my mind, forcing myself to remember the conversation in detail. “He said he found me through Brandon. Somehow, he traced me back to the murder. He knew about my parents’ deaths and my ballet.”

Rand’s eyes flash, but his touch on my face remains achingly gentle.

“What else did he say?”

“Just that he wanted revenge. I think he’s planning to destroy my life. Or maybe he wants to kill me for what I did.” I swallow hard. “He said something about not wanting to hurt me because I’m a woman, but he made it clear that I would suffer if we meet again.”

My fingers curl into his shirt. “I don’t understand why this is happening. Do you think my stalker knew about Brandon, too? Is that why he was tormenting me? He would’ve cut my throat if you hadn’t stopped him. I thought Brandon didn’t have any family left when we were in our foster home, but he clearly had connections to people who care about his death.”

“We’ll figure out what to do. I’ve got you,” he promises, pulling me closer.

I tuck my face against his neck, leaning into his warmth.

I don’t deserve this tender care.

“I just told you I shot my first love,” I murmur against his pulse. “Doesn’t that horrify you?”

He brushes a kiss over my forehead. “Nothing you could do would make me leave you, Karolina.”

Wet heat finally slides down my cheeks. I close my eyes and allow myself to rely on him completely.

“We need to get out of York,” he says. “Until we know why this stranger is threatening you, it’s not safe for you here. You remember how I told you I have a friend who’s good with tech? He can help look into this. We’ll get the answers you need, and then no one will be able to hurt you ever again.”

I don’t want to leave my life as Lena Williams, but at this point, it’s blatantly obvious that staying in town is beyond stupid.

“Where?” I ask.

His mouth softens with relief at my easy agreement; I guess he expected me to argue.

“I have a house in the countryside, not far from town. It’s remote enough that no one will be able to sneak up on us, and I have security measures in place there.”

I nod. Staying in a private home with an alarm system is safer than wandering around the streets of York by myself.

“I’ll drive,” he says.

“I need to get some things from my place.”

“No, he might know where you live. I’ll provide everything you need.”

I don’t mind his highhandedness or intensity in this moment; I need his protection.

“Okay,” I agree. “Let’s get out of here.”