Page 58 of We Chase Shadows

Steve is a bit relieved. It’s okay to get something wrong, but if he’d got it wrong, and Amy had got it right, he’d be thinking about it all the way to Palm Springs.

‘Can I guess the Swedes?’ says Rosie.

‘Yes,’ says Sara. ‘You are correct. The Swedes are the best criminals in the world. We are fair-minded and thorough, it is well known. I’m surprised you didn’t know it already.’

If this was The Brass Monkey, Steve would be approaching the quizmaster and asking for verification. But the quizmaster at The Brass Monkey, Neil Hodges, is not the chief suspect in over a dozen unsolved murders, so Steve will let it go for now. On with the interview.

‘So, speaking of Swedish criminals, and I’m sure you’re right about that, though I would be fascinated to look at the actual source of the statistic,’ says Steve, ‘this Jakob Eriksson? You’ve heard the name.’

‘This is a common name,’ says Sara. ‘Jakob is a common name, and Eriksson is a common name. I don’t know what would be the same in England.’

Rosie points to Steve. ‘Every single English man in their late fifties is called Steve, Dave or Gary. No exceptions.’

Sara nods. ‘Yes, Gary Lineker.’

‘Exactly,’ says Steve.

‘I don’t know who that is,’ says Rosie. ‘When you say that Jakob Er–’

Well, this won’t stand.

‘Wait, sorry,’ says Steve. ‘You’ve never heard of Gary Lineker?’

‘No,’ says Rosie. ‘So, Sara –’

‘He’s very famous,’ says Steve.

‘A footballer,’ says Sara, nodding at Rosie with some concern. ‘Very famous.’

Steve and the Swedish psychopath share a look of slight disbelief at this turn of events.

‘I don’t know footballers,’ says Rosie. ‘I was briefly engaged to a polo player, but that’s very different.’

Sara Lindstrat has found a picture of Gary Lineker on her phone and shows it to Rosie.

Rosie shakes her head. ‘Sorry. I mean, I wouldn’t kick him out of bed, but I’ve never seen him before in my life.’

‘If we can get back to you knowing Jakob Eriksson,’ says Amy.

‘I said I know everyone,’ says Sara. ‘All criminals anyway.’

‘He deals in illegal medication,’ says Steve. ‘You know, fake pills and all that business. Interpol have been after him for years.’

‘He is not someone I know,’ says Sara.

‘But you know everyone?’ says Steve.

‘Yes,’ says Sara. ‘But this man I have not heard of. You are certain he is Swedish?’

‘Interpol seem to think he’s Swedish,’ says Rosie.

‘Interpol are idiots,’ says Sara.

Ernesto is not an idiot, thinks Steve, but, again, he won’t be approaching Sara for verification.

Amy shows Sara Lindstrat a picture of Jakob Eriksson. ‘This man?’

Sara shakes her head. ‘Never seen him. And Swedes are the least bald nation in Europe. That is another fact. What else do you know about him?’