Page 91 of We Chase Shadows

‘A woman who declutters your house, then solves murders,’ says Elspeth. ‘It’s very good.’

‘You’ve read it?’ Rosie asks.

‘No,’ says Elspeth. ‘I don’t really read, you know my attention span. It just sounds good, doesn’t it? My house is a tip.’

‘Elspeth, I’m going to love you and leave you,’ says Rosie. ‘You let me know if you have any more bright ideas.’

‘I almost certainly won’t,’ says Elspeth. ‘Don’t forget to forward me the cat’s details.’

Rosie ends the call.

‘Bad news?’ asks Vern.

‘I’m not sure I understand the world any more,’ says Rosie.

‘You and me both,’ says Vern. ‘Can I help?’

‘Could you pop out to Waterstones and buy 17,000 copies of my book?’

‘I actually could,’ says Vern. ‘But I’m not supposed to go out.’

As Rosie leaves the bedroom, she passes Lee sitting guard outside.

Rosie nods at him. ‘Sorry you had to hear all that. Some men are screamers.’

Lee pulls earbuds out of his ears. ‘Podcast.’

‘Lucky for you,’ says Rosie.

Lee nods at the earbuds. ‘I honestly didn’t know you had a rescue dog. It was really lovely. I needed that today.’

Rosie leans in. ‘Lee, you’re young. If someone listens to me on a podcast, why wouldn’t they immediately go out and read my book?’

Lee thinks about this. ‘Well, I don’t think they’d have enough time. You know, because of all the other podcasts they have to listen to next. I went straight on to one about plane crashes.’

That’s useful consumer insight.

Rosie needs to focus on the murders for now and not book sales. In fact, if they solve the murders, then who’s to say that won’t actually help sales? A nice photo of Connor Brooks in cuffs, Rosie with a gun? Would that work?

A few years ago it would have been a surefire winner. But it seems the rules of publicity have changed while Rosie was busy elsewhere.

She will think of something though. Will have to think of something. It’s what she does.

A horn toots three times outside. Steve and Amy. Lee heads down to the door. Rosie heads back into the bedroom.

‘Fix up, look sharp,’ she says to Vern. ‘We need a quick word.’

‘A word?’ says Vern, pulling on his trousers.

‘Just a word,’ says Rosie. ‘Everything’s fine, unless you’re hiding anything from us.’

Vern buttons up his shirt. It is short-sleeved. Acceptable in Italy, but not here.

‘Not that shirt,’ says Rosie. ‘Sleeves, please.’

Rosie heads down the stairs. Lee is letting Steve and Amy in.

‘Welcome to my humble home,’ says Rosie.