Page 100 of Clinically Awkward

Instead, he just shrugged. “The more the merrier, right? I’ll grab another pitcher.”

Gabriel leaned over and whispered, “Is he... actually cool with this?”

“Apparently,” I muttered.

“That’s unsettling,” Nathan added.

Hayden said nothing. He just looked like a man who’d accepted his fate and was already planning his escape route.

We sat down. Colton returned with two pitchers of beer and a basket of wings that looked like they had been sitting under a heat lamp since 2019.

“So,” Colton said, pouring beer into red plastic cups. “All you guys work together?”

“We do,” Gabriel said carefully.

“That’s awesome, man. I work in sales. Medical equipment. It’s pretty sick.”

No one responded.

Colton didn’t notice.

“I just closed this huge deal with a hospital in Bridgeport,” he continued. “Commission’s gonna be insane. Thinking about upgrading my car.”

“You have a car?” Fitz asked politely.

“Oh yeah, man. 2023 Dodge Charger. Blacked out. Custom rims. It’s a beast.”

“Fascinating,” Fitz said, his tone so perfectly neutral it could’ve been sincere. “I’ve always thought the measure of a man’s character was best expressed through his choice of aftermarket automotive accessories.”

Colton beamed. “Right? That’s what I’m saying!”

I took a long drink of my beer.

This was going to be a long night.

For the first twenty minutes, everything was... fine.

Weirdly fine.

We drank. We ate wings that tasted like regret. We watched SportsCenter and pretended to care about baseball statistics.

Colton talked about his gym routine. His macros. His deadlift PR.

Nathan asked a polite question about protein powder.

Hayden stared into the middle distance as if he were contemplating retirement.

Gabriel checked his phone approximately every forty-five seconds.

And I drank. Because what else was I supposed to do?

“—and then I hit 405 on deadlift,” Colton was saying. “New personal record.”

“Remarkable,” Fitz said, taking a sip of his beer. “I can’t imagine the dedication required to lift heavy objects up and then put them down again. Repeatedly. For fun.”

“It’s all about discipline, man.”

“Clearly.”