Page 103 of Clinically Awkward

“Someone who actually sees her,” I shot back. “Someone who knows she’s brilliant and funny and kind and⁠—”

“She’s a cold fish anyway,” Colton interrupted with a shrug.

The world went red.

“What did you just say?”

“You heard me. Vivian’s a cold fish. Boring. No sense of humor. I was gonna dump her, anyway.”

I stood up so fast that my chair fell over.

“Vivian is not boring. She’s the funniest person I know. She’s warm and compassionate, and she lights up every room she walks into. She deserves someone who appreciates that. Someone who doesn’t treat her like an accessory. Someone who⁠—”

Colton punched me in the face.

I didn’t see it coming. One second, I was mid-rant; the next, I was on the floor with a split lip and the distinct taste of blood in my mouth.

“QUINTON!” Gabriel yelled.

I looked up.

Colton was standing over me, fists clenched.

And I thought: Screw it.

I tackled him.

We hit the floor hard. Someone’s beer went flying. A basket of wings exploded across the table.

“FIGHT!” someone yelled.

Nathan tried to pull me off Colton.

Colton’s elbow caught Nathan in the ribs.

Nathan yelped and accidentally shoved Hayden, who stumbled into another table, knocking over three beers and a plate of nachos.

The guy at that table stood up. “What the hell, man?”

“It was an accident!” Hayden said.

The guy shoved Hayden, and Fitz, in a moment of spectacularly poor judgment, shoved the guy back. “Terribly sorry,” he said, not sounding sorry at all. “But we don’t shove the elderly in Great Britian. It’s simply not done, old chap.”

“I’m forty-eight!” Hayden protested.

And then it was chaos. Pure, absolute chaos. Someone threw a punch. Someone else threw a chair. The waitress screamed. The bartender was yelling into a phone.

Gabriel was trying to pull Nathan away from a guy in a Patriots jersey.

Hayden was backed into a corner, holding a bar stool like a shield.

Fitz was laughing maniacally while dodging a very angry man in a Celtics hat. “This is brilliant!” he shouted. “Absolutely brilliant! It’s like a proper English pub brawl, except everyone’s wearing trainers!”

And I was still on the floor with Colton, both of us grappling like idiots.

Then I heard it.

Sirens.