Page 32 of Clinically Awkward

Now, I woke up on Saturday mornings and thought: What were Viv and I doing today? I know, disturbing.

It was as if some benevolent weekend fairy had swapped out my soul while I slept. But I couldn’t deny it—it was also the best thing that had ever happened to me.

The thing about Vivian? She improved everything. Not in a “cue the sweeping music, hearts-and-flowers montage” way. More like there was an actual upgrade to my quality of life. One I could chart, if I were so inclined. Take last Saturday, for example.

Vivian and I went to a Red Sox game. Granted, I had been to plenty by myself—relished the stats, the overpriced beer, the questionable hot dogs. But going with Vivian was a revelation. She wasn’t there as some passive spectator to my sports monologue; she knew baseball. In the “I will fight you about whether that was a ball or a strike” way, not the “I’m pretending to care because my boyfriend likes sports” way.

We spent three glorious hours screaming at the ump, arguing over batting averages, and consuming Fenway Franks with reckless abandon. When the Sox clinched it in the bottom of the ninth, Vivian grabbed my arm and shook me so hard I thought my bones might rattle loose.

I could feel the thrill humming through me, sharp and bright. My chest was tight with joy, not anxiety. It wasn’t just about the game, or the beer, or the food. It was about connection. For the first time, I realized how much better life felt when I shared it with someone who understood the wild, nerdy joy of a walk-off home run.

That afternoon, I wasn’t just surviving the weekend—I was living it. And for a guy who used to treat Saturdays like a holding cell for existential dread, that was no small thing.

The cherry on top? Everything with Vivian felt blissfully, almost suspiciously, easy. No awkward choreography, no mental checklists of “Should I be holding her hand right now?” or “Is this the moment for the classic arm-around-the-shoulder maneuver?” None of that performance anxiety that made dating feel like failing a pop quiz I didn’t know I signed up for.

We were unapologetically ourselves—team “baseball is life,” sworn enemies of the Yankees, and proud possessors of opinions about the designated hitter rule that could end friendships. Our easy camaraderie wasn’t limited to stadium seats. It carried over into everything we did together.

Apparently, when you find your person, life’s mundane activities become sitcom episodes, and you, for once, are the star with decent comedic timing.

Take hiking, for example. (Yes, hiking. I know—I’m as surprised as you are.)

I blurted out, “Want to try a six-mile trail with significant elevation gain?” mostly as a joke, and braced for the inevitable, “Sorry, I have to reorganize my sock drawer.” That was the standard response.

Instead, Vivian just grinned and said, “What time?” like I had suggested grabbing coffee.

Three hours later, she was practically skipping up the Sleeping Giant trail while I, former king of the indoors, was silently drafting my last will and testament on the back of a granola bar wrapper. Vivian looked like she had just taken a brisk walk to the mailbox. I looked like I had been chased up Everest by a herd of angry goats.

“You okay?” she asked at the summit, not even bothering to mask her amusement.

“Me? Fantastic,” I replied, channeling the spirit of a wheezing asthmatic ghost. “Love hiking. Love oxygen deprivation. Love reevaluating every life choice that led me to this moment on a Connecticut mountain.”

She snorted, the sound more genuine than any compliment I had ever received, and pressed her water bottle into my hand.

“You’re out of shape, Wesley.”

“Excuse me, I’m a medical professional. My natural habitat is beneath fluorescent lighting, not atop mountains. Vitamin D deficiency is practically a job requirement.”

“That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Saddest, but also the most accurate.”

So we lounged at the summit, trading barbs and trail mix, arguing over whether the view was “breathtaking” (her words) or “adequately scenic with bonus trees” (mine). She flung a peanut at my head; I caught it—pure luck, but I did my best to look smug. She gave me a look—impressed, genuinely—and I could practically feel my ego sprout wings.

Honestly, it beat any medal.

With Vivian, even my most undignified moments became victories.

Movie nights with Vivian were a whole different beast. A beast with popcorn breath and strong opinions about plot twists. Vivian, an adrenaline enthusiast and part-time chaos agent, was the kind of person who thrived on action movies with enough explosions to rattle your molars. I, Quinton, amateur film critic and professional overthinker, craved psychological thrillers that tangled your mind and left you wondering whether the villain was actually society.

We finally settled into a routine: every other week, we alternated picking the film. Vivian had recently subjected me to “Boom City”—a cinematic ode to pyrotechnics—while I retaliated with “Mind Maze,” a psychological thriller that apparently traumatized her so thoroughly she gripped my arm in the theater until her fingerprints left bruises. Our choices said everything: hers, bold and loud; mine, brooding and a little bit twisted.

“That was terrible,” Vivian announced, still clutching my sleeve in the moonlit parking lot, her daredevil bravado momentarily replaced by genuine horror.

“That was critically acclaimed,” I protested, secretly pleased that my choice had left an impression—maybe too pleased.

Vivian shook her head, wide-eyed. “That was traumatizing. I’m never sleeping again.” Behind her bravado, she was visibly rattled; I wondered if my penchant for mind games had crossed the line from entertaining to existentially unsettling.

“You asked for my honest opinion on movies, Vivian. I gave you my honest opinion,” I said, hoping my honesty wasn’t a deal-breaker in our weekly ritual.