Page 41 of Clinically Awkward

I couldn’t help it. She was texting me. She was on a date with her boyfriend, and she was texting me.

I started typing immediately.

Me: No. Decided cold pizza and infomercials were a better use of my time.

I hit send.

Then I typed again.

Me: How’d the date go?

I watched the screen.

The three dots appeared.

Disappeared.

Appeared again.

Then:

Vivi:

I laughed out loud, a burst of relief mixed with guilt. It was twisted, how much joy I felt at her frustration.

An angry emoji. That was all she sent—and yet it spoke volumes. Suddenly, I was picturing her fuming, maybe even venting about him.

An angry emoji. Which meant the date had gone terribly. Which meant the boyfriend had done something stupid. Which meant—maybe I was happy, because lately I’d felt like her happiness eclipsed my own. Or maybe, deep down, I hoped moments like this would nudge her to see me in a new light. I stopped myself, catching the swirl of jealousy and wishful thinking.

I should not have been this happy about her bad date. I should have been sympathetic. Supportive. A good friend.

Me: Want to talk about it?

The response came immediately.

Vivi: No.

Fair. I was about to put my phone down when another text came through.

Vivi: I need a beer. Like the one we had at the comedy club.

I stared at the message.

Read it again.

She needed a beer. Like the one we had at the comedy club. Which meant she was thinking about the comedy club. Which meant she was thinking about me. Which meant—Stop! Stop analyzing. Stop reading into things. She just wants a beer. That’s all. A beer.

I could have suggested a bar. There were plenty of bars in New Haven. Good bars. Bars with good beer.

Me: There’s a place on Crown Street that has a great selection

I stopped and deleted it because that wasn’t what I wanted to say.

What I wanted to say was: Come over.

What I wanted to say was: I have beer. And cold pizza. And a couch that’s way more comfortable than any bar stool.

What I wanted to say was: Please come over because I’ve been bored out of my mind for the last two hours and the only thing that would make this evening remotely tolerable is you.