Page 95 of Clinically Awkward

Vivian looked as if she were contemplating murder.

Gabriel, Nathan, Hayden, and I were trying very hard not to laugh.

And Fitz looked like he’d just realized he’d made a terrible mistake.

“So,” he said finally. “That went well.”

“WELL?” Vivian exploded. “WELL? I was supposed to break up with him, you British charlatan!”

“Were you?” Fitz asked. “Because it rather seemed like you were just standing there while he ignored you.”

“I was trying to find an opening!”

“An opening,” Fitz repeated. “Right. And how was that working out for you?”

“I had a plan!”

“Did your plan involve him hitting on Winnie for ten minutes?”

“He wasn’t—” Vivian stopped. “Okay, he was. But that’s not the point!”

“Then what is the point?”

“The point is that I was going to break up with him, and now I can’t because you made plans to get drinks with him!”

“I didn’t make plans,” Fitz protested. “He made plans. I just... didn’t say no.”

“Why not?”

“Because he seemed sad!”

“He seemed sad?”

“Yes! Sad and lonely and in desperate need of male friendship!”

“He has friends!”

“Does he?” Fitz asked. “Because from what I could tell, he spends most of his time at the gym talking to his reflection.”

Despite everything, I snorted.

Vivian whirled on me. “This is not funny!”

“It’s a little funny,” I said.

“It’s not!”

“Viv,” I said gently. “He gave Fitz his number. Fitz is going to have drinks with your boyfriend. This is objectively hilarious.”

“I was supposed to break up with him today!”

“And you still can,” I pointed out. “Just... maybe not right before his bromance date with Fitz.”

Vivian looked like she was going to cry or scream or possibly both.

Fitz stepped forward cautiously. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to⁠—”

“You never mean to,” Winnie snapped. “You just do things without thinking about the consequences.”