Page 106 of Retrograde

“Oh, honey,” I purr nastily. “Didn’t they tell you?” I fondle his rapidly softening length. “I’m used to taking the Necromancer’s cock now. And it’s really big,” I emphasise with relish. “So that little thing you’ve got there? I won’t even feel that.”

He blushes violently, and his erection is gone. I jiggle his limp dick as I spit at him, “What’s the problem, big guy? Can’t even get it up for a girl who’s not scared of you? Fucking. Pathetic.”

Red in the face, he roars and lands a punishing blow across my cheek that knocks me off the cot. Tasting metal, I land on the ground just as the door flies open and three more guards rush in to drag my wannabe rapist away with words that finally break me out of my lethargy, “Are you crazy? Volker said he wanted her unharmed.”

I huddle in a corner, pull up my knees, blinking my tears away. But there’s no stopping it, that stampede of panic rushing through my ears at the mention of that name, the cold sweat erupting all over me, the nausea rising up my throat.

There is only one thing to keep me afloat in the pit of my despair. Aron.

I know it in the marrow of my bones that he will try to come for me.

Not to save me—oh no. I ran away. I broke the rules. He would never let that go unpunished.

He’ll come for me so that he can kill me himself.

I hold on to the impossible hope that he’ll succeed.

I’m dead either way. But if I have to die, then I’d rather die by his hand than anybody else’s.

And so I cling to the memory of his voice and his touch, letting hours pass me by in an unformed blur.

Until the door opens again and a familiar voice freezes all the blood in my veins.

“Hello, Princess.” My lungs constrict, and fear twists in my belly. “You’ve been very, very bad.”

Volker steps into view—the nose that looks like it’s been flattened by a hammer, the pointed beard, the eyes like two vats of clear acid, eating right through me.

I forget how to breathe, scrambling away from him until my back hits the wall. A fractured sob claws up my throat. He smiles, a flash of sharp, white teeth. My terror is music to his ears.

“Shhh, don’t worry. It will be our secret. As far as the public’s concerned, you’ve already died in the line of duty.”

“I’m telling you nothing.” My voice quivers with grim determination.

“I’m asking you nothing,” he counters, smug and indifferent.

I could give him Retrograde’s location. But we both know that Aron will have moved his men by now, making it worthless. Volker has no idea that I could share something much more valuable with him—Phoenix’s identity.

But I won’t. Much as I’d have no qualms about betraying Daria, I dread to think what she could tell him about the rebel groups. I’ll protect the resistance with my silence. No matter what, I will not fail. Because I have been waiting for this much longer than I ever realised. For a way to finally redeem myself.

40

ARON

My hands tight on the grips, I keep squeezing every possible mile per hour out of the throttle, tearing down the neglected roads, nearly crashing when I swerve too fast between the potholes.

Still, it takes me nearly the full day to get there. Every passing minute is agony—not knowing where she is, not knowing what they’ve done to her, not knowing if and when I’ll be able to get her out. And most of all, knowing that this is absolutely my fucking fault.

If they torture her, it’s my fault.

If they rape her, it’s my fault.

And if they kill her, that’s my fucking fault too.

This time, it’s on me for real.

All because I was a blind fucking fool, trying to fit the world—in all its messy glory—into neat little boxes.

Too proud to admit that I had lost my way.