Page 19 of Good Intentions, Vol. 2

Chapter Six

Nick

“Beth, please tell Heather to come into my office,” I release the button of the intercom waiting for Beth to tell me she’s coming in.

I’m anxious, restless. I haven’t seen her for the last three days and nights.

The days, it was my fault since I had meetings all over the town.

The nights, she blew me off saying she either was tired or didn’t feel well or she had somewhere to be.

When she told me she’d tired and didn’t feel well, that she thought she’s getting a cold I was already on my way to the door to go to her, to take care of her. But then, she said I should think of Ben and she didn’t want me to catch whatever she had and have my son in danger of being also sick. So I said okay.

But when she said she had a previous engagement, that, well, that put me on edge.

Who was she seeing?

Was she tired of me and my situation that quickly?

I never made her any promises and she never asked for one, but I was getting tired of this sneaking around thing we had going on. I wanted to be with her out in the open every chance I got.

That day at the Zoo with Ben, all I could think of is, she should have been with us. Having fun with us. She belonged with me.

She was mine.

And that day I started to think of cutting all my ties with Claire and trying to have a real go with Heather.

The way she was in the morning, all confused and sleepily walked around but still in all that got me my coffee, asked how I slept, or when I would make breakfast for us and her eyes would be full of wonder and her soft thank yous she gave me, just because I did something millions of people did all over the world each and every morning. Or her random texts asking how I am, asking if I needed anything or just to simply say she’s thinking of me. Her whispered words while she described her dreams and hopes for her future in the dead of the night, almost scared of how I would react to it. That and so much more simple, little things that made her just the way she is, told me that she’s the woman for me. Only thing that managed to put a cold feeling in my gut, leaving me with this bitter taste in my mouth is that when each and every time she did any of those things there would be fear lurking behind her eyes.

Fear of will I be there with her.

Fear that I won’t share that with her.

Fear that I’ll leave her.

There wasn’t any doubt in my mind that we would make it, that she was the woman for me.

And I desperately wanted to talk to her about it.

I needed her to know I was ready. I was ready to take that first step and any other that came next as long as she was mine.

The fact that Claire cornered me this morning in the kitchen when I came in to give my boy a kiss before I took off for work helped to solidify my decision.

For the last four weeks she greeted me with the same thing, “We need to talk, Nick.” And while I agreed with her, we did, I just didn’t know what exactly I wanted to tell her. So, I pushed it for later.

When she still wouldn’t leave me be, I lost it and in front of Ben, with as much of malice I could muster, I asked her, “How much do you need this time? Huh?”

She just kept looking at me with her mouth open, her eyes open wide. It would be comical if it wasn’t so tiring.

Over and over again, the same tune from her.

She acted all sweet or would try to bullshit me, she’s trying to change and the moment I let my guard down, she struck me with a number. A number of dollars she wanted that time.

“Answer me!” I roared making Ben jump in his seat, his little bottom lip wobbling and tears pooling in his eyes. Immediately, I crouched down and whispered, “I’m so sorry, buddy. I didn’t mean to yell. Daddy’s just tired.”

Giving him one final kiss, I looked to my wife, the cold running through my veins and told her, “When you figure out how much you want, you know how to reach me, or better yet, just call Beth and she’ll give me the message.“ And with that I turned and walked away from them.

I was ready to move on.