Page 6 of Good Intentions, Vol. 2

Chapter Three

Heather

Sir, your wife is here.

The words are playing on endless loop in my mind for the past few days now, not letting me forget even for a second how close we came to being discovered by Nick’s wife. Or the fact that what we’re doing is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Not even walking down this lane, a path I was on so much in my life, the greenery giving me an illusion of tranquility, isn’t helping.

I used to run here, in these woods when I was younger, when I needed to run away from constant yelling in my house, or from the mean kids that tortured me in school after my mom made her choice. But even the branches that hung low over the lane, the same ones I would climb on and just listen to the stillness of the air and finally getting the quiet I so much needed, is not doing anything to help me forget even for a second that moment in Nick’s office.

The last time we were together.

After seeing him with his wife, I knew we had to stop. I never thought about Claire, never even asked myself, or Nick, how their life is, how they became an item. And never questioned what would come in the future.

Would there be a future, our future?

Would he leave her and start a new life with me, or would he stay with her?

That would mean we would eventually break up, right? But, in the moment she opened the door, all those questions started swimming in my mind, and I didn’t like the answers I was getting.

No, he would never leave her; no matter how bad it was at home because he would never jeopardize his relationship with his son. Was it bad though? What’s the reason he went searching for another woman? Because, knowing the fact or not, he was searching. Then luck would have it, he found me. And I was too weak, wanted him too much, to say no.

So, I knew I had to go away. Away from Nick, because no matter I knew all those things, I also know I can’t resist him. It took all my will power not to answer his texts, or his calls that day. I wish he’d stop. If he did, I wouldn’t cave. But even with the much needed distance between us, with his every text, my resolve became more weak, until, it completely disappeared. The funny thing is, the only way I knew how to do it, how to get away from him, from temptation, was to leave town and go back to the only place I swore I would never go back to.

Home.

God, I hate this place.

And even though the ghosts are trying to push through, my mother heard that I’m here and is calling twenty times a day and she won’t stop until I answer, and I can see Erin is hiding something from me, all I can think about is Nick.

His eyes.

His mouth.

His hands.

The way he makes me feel.

Desirable.

Sexy.

Reckless.

Free.

I don’t remember the last time I felt free.

I know it’s wrong, I know I should stop. The only problem is, I can’t.

I keep finding new excuses so I could have him all to myself in those rare moments. I keep giving us the permission to continue with this… this affair we’re having. Once the fact that what we have, what we share is nothing more than an affair and I’m just a mistress, the other woman, hits my brain all the good feelings and images go away and the fact that it needs to stop becomes more clear. Until his next text, his sweet words, or him begging me to come back to him shows up on my phone screen.

And to be honest, I don’t want to lose him and at the same time I don’t know how to let him go. Well, I actually do, just break up and go away, I’m just not sure if I’m strong enough. I was never in my life torn so much. One minute I’m all in to break us up, to leave and forget it ever happened, the next my insides shake with yearning for the man.

I need to make a game plan. I need to find a new job, preferably in the different city and just disappear from his life, letting him continue on his own. And make a new one for me.

Just the thought of not seeing him, hearing him speak, not feeling his touch makes my heart hurt. It’s just another validation I’m way over my head here.