Page 63 of Ash Fall

That's easy enough to promise myself when it's still only a possibility. I don't know what I'll feel if I ever have to see it become real. Before I can dig any deeper into that particular nightmare, the walkie clipped to the dash crackles hard enough to make me jump.

"Rest stop ahead in three klicks," Anders says through the speaker. "We're pulling over for bathroom breaks. Ten minutes to stretch your legs."

Relief loosens my grip on the wheel. I pull the walkie out of the clip and key it.

"Copy."

Voices answer behind me one after another as the message moves back through the convoy. I set the radio back in place and roll my shoulders, flexing stiff fingers that have been strangling the steering wheel for too long.

A few minutes later, Anders signals and turns off the highway. The rest stop has one of those long parking stretches built for transport trucks. Normally there would be semis lined end to end, drivers sleeping in their cabs or crossing the lot toward the washrooms. Today there isn't a single truck in sight, and no cars either. Empty pavement surrounds a squat concrete restroom building and a few picnic tables, and nothing on the whole lot is moving.

Anders pulls to the far end where there's enough room for all the trailers, and the rest of us line up behind him so nobody has to jockey around when we leave. I park the Jeep and climb out, grateful to straighten my legs while doors open all down the row. Kids spill out of the neighbors' trucks, half the adults head straight for the restroom building, and Penny races toward a patch of grass with Mikey and Josh chasing after her.

I scan the place for a vending machine, coffee kiosk, or anything else that might contain caffeine, but there's nothing except washrooms, garbage cans, and picnic tables. After seeing Luna in the middle of that bed with my best friends last night, sleep hadn't been high on the list of things my brain was willing to let me do. Currently, I'd happily trade something valuable for a cup of coffee.

"Fuck, I need caffeine."

Gage walks over from the motorhome and drops one hand on my shoulder. "You good, man?"

The question still catches me off guard coming from him. Things between us are better than they were, but better doesn't mean fixed, and after everything I dropped into their lives yesterday I wouldn't blame him for keeping me at arm's length. I nod and rub both hands over my face before looking back at him.

"Yeah. Tired as hell, though. I'd kill for a coffee right now."

He jerks his chin toward the motorhome.

"I can fix that. Elenor put the Keurig in there. Grab a travel mug from the cupboard above it and make a cup. Pods are in the one beside it."

I stare at him. "There's a Keurig in the apocalypse bus?"

"Motorhome."

"I don't care what you call it. That's the best offer I’ve had all day."

A short laugh breaks through his tired expression. "Go before she decides it needs rationing and starts charging by the cup."

"She'd do it too."

"Absolutely."

I head over and climb the motorhome steps, only to stop just inside when I realize Luna is already there. She's at the small counter checking one of the slow cookers they filled with chili, clamping the lid back into place after giving it a stir.

For one stupid second, seeing her wipes every other thought out of my head. The surprise in her green eyes matches my own, and I stay near the steps instead of moving farther into the narrow space.

"Oh. Sorry. Gage said I could make a coffee. I'll grab it and get out of your way."

"Sure, coffee. Help yourself."

She turns back toward the slow cooker even though the lid is already secure, while I move to the Keurig and keep as much space between us as the little kitchen allows. I pull a mug from the cupboard above it before opening the next one.

Neither of us knows what to say, and that uncertainty fills every inch between us. Luna adjusts the same slow-cooker lid again while I give three boxes of coffee pods far more consideration than any of them deserve, until she finally releases a long breath.

"This isn't going to work, Mars."

Everything inside me drops so fast I almost feel sick. My hand freezes over the coffee pods because there it is, the thing I've been afraid of since she told me I could come with them. She changed her mind. Maybe being around me is too much, or maybe she talked to the guys and realized letting me stay was only going to make everything harder.

I set the pod down carefully and turn toward her. "Okay."

Her eyebrows draw together. "Okay?"