Page 85 of Ash Fall

"You liked having them kiss you. You have feelings for them, and there's nothing wrong with that." I wait until she's looking at me. "You have feelings for Gage too, don't you?"

She catches her bottom lip in her teeth and doesn't answer.

"You have feelings for all of them." I keep going, because she's not going to get there by herself. "And maybe for me too?"

The nod is so small I feel it more than see it. I pull her in and kiss her forehead, and it takes more out of me than she'll ever know, because it isn't her forehead I want to kiss right now.

"Luna, love. There is nothing wrong with that. I promise you. If anything, maybe it would be more strange if you didn't." I rub my hand slowly up and down her back. "Think about it this way. We've all lived under one roof for two years. Day after day, meal after meal, every good thing and every bad thing, all of us in one house. Doesn’t it make sense that our feelings grew? Maybe it isn't conventional but be honest with me. Do you really think you could pick one of us and be happy?"

A war of conflict rages over her face but her brow furrows, she sighs and gives her head one tiny shake.

"My head tells me that wanting to be with all of you is wrong." She says it looking at the floor, like she can’t meet my eyes as she admits this. "My heart, though. It's what my heart wants. My whole life I've just been trying to be good, you know? To be a good person. And this feels like it goes against that."

I brush a lock of hair back from her cheek and give her the softest smile I have.

"Why?" I ask. "Who are you hurting? None of us are trying to hurt anybody. We want to be with you. We all love you and you want to be with us. I don’t see any victims in that. Maybe we aren’t typical, but we’re a family in our hearts." I tip her chin up forcing her to meet my eyes so that I know she really hears this. "You are a good person. You're one of the best people I have ever met in my life, and your heart is enormous. To me, it makes complete sense that there's room in it for more than one man. I’m not saying it’ll always be easy."

She glances over her shoulder and scans the crowd before her eyes come back.

"But Gage," Her voice conflicted. "I just don't think he's the kind of man who could be okay with any of this. He's everything to me, Tor. All of you are. And I'm so afraid I'm going to lose him."

I laugh, quiet and short.

"Yeah, that's not happening." I say confidently, because it's the truth. "That man is head over heels in love with you and has been for years. This is something he needs to sort out inside his own thick skull, and nobody can do that for him."

"He won't even talk to me. I tried, and he brushed me off."

Anger and disappointment flash through me. Gage has never brushed her off in his life. He would have known how much that would hurt her. It makes me feel like I should go find him and dick punch him, but really there’s nothing I can do to fix that tonight, so I try and smooth it over.

"You know what?" I run my thumb along her jaw. "It's late, and this has to be in the top three of longest days either of us has ever lived through. We all need sleep before anybody makes major life choices on top of the apocalypse ones. Leave Gage out of it for tonight. Give him space, give him time, and maybe things will look different in the morning. Okay?"

She sniffs, and nods, and wipes her face on her sleeve.

"Good. Now, what do you say we go check out the fifth wheel? I haven’t been in it yet. Have you? I know I'm ready to get horizontal and close my eyes."

"Yeah, I could curl up and ignore the world for a bit. I just took Penny out to do her business, so she is looked after for now."

"Then come on." I take her hand. "Let's go check out our new home."

We walk over and climb up the steps. Someone has already made sure the slides are out and the door is unlocked. I find the keys hanging on a hook beside the door when I get inside.

"Holy shit, this is huge! People actually buy these things for camping?"

Luna pushes in past me with a look of amazement as we do a walkthrough. Up front, three steps lead to a master bedroom with a king bed that fills it wall to wall. Off that is a bathroom with two sinks and a shower that would fit three people without anybody touching. Back down on the main level there's a full kitchen with an island in the middle of it and a massive double door fridge. A leather sectional wraps the center across from it, facing a television the size of my truck's windshield, with a glass fireplace set into the wall underneath.

Past that there's a second bathroom smaller than the first one, and a second set of stairs that climbs into a loft with two wide mattresses side by side under a low ceiling. Underneath the loft is another bedroom, this one with a queen-size bed. There are five slides that pop out in total which means the floor space is massive. Even with all of us in here at the same time there would be room to move.

Luna comes back to the living area and turns a slow circle with her eyes wide.

"I thought the motorhome was fancy." She runs a hand along the back of the sectional. "This is next level. This is luxury pretending to be camping."

"Well, Jules did pick it and he has never once in his life picked the cheap option."

"No, he has not." She squeezes my hand and lets go. "Okay. Let's go grab the blankets and pillows and the comforters we brought from home. They're still in the motorhome. We'll get some of these beds made up, and then this day is over. Deal?"

I step in front of her when she moves to walk past me toward the door. She stops in surprise and looks up at me with those big green eyes, and every careful plan I've ever made about waiting for the right moment turns to smoke.

"Just so there's no confusion, love."