Page 98 of Ash Fall

"Jules." She says in a tone soaked in sadness as realization kicks in about what I’m trying to tell her. "How much of this does he want me to hear?"

"All of it. He needs you to understand why he might react certain ways once you take the next step together." My throat goes tight, the way it always does when I think about his trauma. "You know some of it already. Kara told him she shared some of it with you to try and help you understand and he knows you've probably connected pieces on your own."

"I never asked." Tears are already standing in her eyes. "I figured if he wanted me to know, he'd tell me."

"He does but it’s still really hard for him to voice it. So here it is. There was a woman. One of the people his mother called a friend. Reid was a kid, Cin. Way too young for any of it, and his mother handed him over and called it doing him a favor. Nothing that happened was his choice, and his begging didn't stop her from doing what she did. That was his introduction to sex with a woman. Something taken, never given."

Luna presses a hand over her mouth. Tears spill over and run down without a sound while her other hand grips the counter edge until her knuckles blanch. Fury and heartbreak fight for space on her face. The fury is winning, and I love her more for it.

"His own mother," she whispers, both horrified and furious.

"Kara and I have been slowly ruining all that woman’s favorite things for years in payback. If civilization ever reboots and she somehow survives all this, you can join us in ruining the rest of her life." The offer has her losing a shaky breath that’s part laugh, which is all it was for. "Here's the part he can't bring himself to say to you. He's not afraid of being with you that way. He's afraid of any possible reaction he might have if some of those memories surface. He’s worried about panicking with your hands on him, and thinking it's about you. Worst of all, that you'll hold back because of it. That you’ll be too gentle with him or careful, patient, and he'll feel handled instead of wanted. He thinks that would break something he can't put back together."

She wipes her face with her wrist, and her chin comes up, and there she is. My girl, rebuilding herself to carry someone else's weight.

"Tell me what he needs. Whatever it is."

"He needs time, and zero pressure, and for you to keep being exactly what you already are to him." I round the island slowly. "And when he's ready, whenever that is, he asked for one more thing, and I promised him I'd ask you so you can decide. You get the final vote. Somebody rather memorably announced very loudly that nobody asks the lady what she wants, so consider this me…us, asking."

A groan escapes her. "You all weren’t supposed to hear that."

"Maybe you didn’t intend for us to hear it but I’m glad we did." I stop in front of her and take both her hands. "When it happens for him, he doesn't want to be alone in a room with his own head, waiting for it to turn on him. If you agree, it would be the three of us. Him, you, and me. I'd be there the whole time as his anchor if anything goes sideways. He deserves to learn what it feels like when it's his choice. When it's given. Both of us will be there to make sure of it."

Understanding moves across her face, and right behind it comes something else entirely. Color climbs up her throat and floods her cheeks. Her breath goes shallow, her thighs press together under that thin cotton skirt, and along her bare forearms a faint shimmer rises under her skin in a soft pulse. She's picturing it, the three of us together, every sexy, filthy frame in high definition, and it’s turning her on. Oh, this is going to be fun. I let go of her hands and set mine on the counter on either side of her, boxing her in without touching her but close enough to feel the heat of her. "You just went somewhere, Cin. Tell me where."

"Umm, nowhere," she says, her voice high and a little breathless so she has to clear her throat. "I was processing. You know, emotionally."

"Liar." I lower my head until my mouth hovers beside her ear, close enough that my breath moves the small hairs at her temple. "Should I tell you what it will actually look like? Since you're processing so hard?"

Her throat moves in a slow swallow, but she doesn’t say no. Her chin dips in the smallest nod making me smile.

"It starts slow, baby. You in the middle of that big bed wearing nothing at all. Me sitting behind you, your back against my chest, so he can look at you, admire you, as long as he needs to." My voice drops lower and gets huskier with every word. "My hands do the moving first. Down your throat. Over your breasts in a slow smooth sweep, until you're arching into my palms, desperate for more contact and he's watching and hearing every sweet little sound that leaves your lips as I touch, stroke and tug on your aching nipples. When you’re mindless and begging for more, I’ll move my hands down between those pretty thighs of yours and spread you open, showing him exactly how wet you are for us. I’ll show him where you ache to be touched and then I’ll show him exactly how you want my fingers inside of you."

"J-Jules." My name leaves her in an unsteady whimper, and the shimmer under her skin spreads further.

"I'm not finished. You asked what he needs, so pay attention." A tremor runs through her, and I haven't put one finger on her yet. "When you're soaked and shaking past the point of being able to speak, I’ll take his hand, put it right where mine was, and keep guiding him with mine while he learns you by touch. He’ll be just as desperate to taste you with his mouth. He’ll moan at the first taste of you, with my hand in your hair and my voice telling you how gorgeous you look coming apart on my best friend's tongue. And when he's finally inside you, you'll be looking right at him, holding him together with those pretty eyes of yours filled with need for him, filled with love. I'll be wrapped around you both, keeping everything steady, telling him how well he's doing, telling you to take whatever you want from us."

Her hands find my shirt and fist in it as her head drops back and her eyes flutter closed picturing it. The counter is doing most of the work of holding her up now.

"And after…" My mouth hovers just off the shell of her ear, still no contact, because the not touching just makes this so much hotter. "After, when there's not one doubt left anywhere in him, it's my turn, and I’m not going to be gentle about it. I'll have spent the entire night watching you fall apart for him while behaving myself, but I won’t be able to any longer. You'll be screaming my name into the mattress by the end and begging for more from both of us. That’s a promise." I finish and step back, immediately missing the smell and warmth of her. Her eyes open and her head comes back down to stare at me with her pupils blown wide.

"You can't just…Jesus…" She stops, breathes, tries again. "You can't say things like that and then leave for town. Leave me here without…"

I finally let myself touch her. I lift my hand and use my thumb to drag across her pouty bottom lip with a smirk just as a fist hammers against the door.

"Jules!" Torrin calls my name impatiently. "The trucks are loaded and ready to go. Stop hiding from manual labor."

"One minute," I call back pleasantly, eyes still on her. "Someone needed help with her inventory."

Luna throws one of the kits she made up at my head, and I snatch it out of the air inches from my face with a wink and go unlock the door. The glare she levels at me promises payback later, and I find myself looking forward to that very much.

"We are not done talking about this," she calls out.

"Counting on it." I pause in the doorway and let myself look at her one more time, flushed, lit up, mine, ours, all of ours. "I love you, Cin. I have for a long time."

Her face softens as the glare drops away. "I love you too, Jules. Thank you for being there for Reid. Whenever he's ready. And you..." Her eyes narrow at me. "You are a menace."

"Maybe, but I’m your menace and the best one you'll ever have."