Page 153 of Serpent and Shadow

“It wasn’t your fault,” I warned.

He smiled, but it didn’t touch his eyes. “How many times are you going to tell yourself that, wife, before it starts to ring hollow?”

Anger rippled through my magic, sharpening my voice.

“How long are you going to pretend that everything that goes wrong in the world is something you have control over?” I snapped. When he only looked away, shaking his head, my fingers tightened around his neck. “Has it occurred to you that it’s a little demeaning, you acting like every mistake I make is somehow your responsibility? None of this would be happening if I’d killed him like I should have, that day in your room.”

Bones turned to stare at me, and that time, he actually looked startled.

“I hesitated,” I said, realizing the truth of my words, even as I spoke them. “I went for his arm, not his neck. By the time I realized my mistake and tried again, it was too late. The Praecuri were already there, and your father had locked himself in the loo. I had one chance, and I balked.”

“That’s ludicrous,” he growled at me.

I shook my head. “No. It’s not. Certainly not any more ludicrous than you blaming yourself, when you’re not able to harm him at all.”

He stared at me, breathing harder. His fingers tightened in my hair. “You’re angry at yourself because you’re not a murderer?”

I let out a harsh laugh. “Not a murderer?” I scoffed. “How many people have died because Malefic is still alive? How many more will die if he gets his ‘Great Ritual’? Would you be doing any of this, if I’d taken care of Malefic when I should have?”

He stared at me, his expression conflicted. I could tell the thought had never crossed his mind, not like that, and he didn’t seem to know how to argue against it, although I could clearly see he wanted to.

“I love you,” I told him, cutting him off. “I didn’t want to kill your father because I loved you, even then.” I motioned at him in the black uniform, covered in ash and smoke and blood. My throat closed. “So I did this to you instead.”

He caught hold of me, and pressed me up against the tree.

He kissed me, and pressed his face against mine.

I didn’t fully realize what I’d said until he kissed me again, on the mouth that time, using his tongue. The kiss deepened, and his magic flooded into mine before I could take a breath. I felt pain in it, heat, longing, but more devastating than any of that were the softer emotions that flooded over me, eclipsing everything else.

The intensity behind it shocked me enough that I moaned.

He stopped long enough to take off the coat, and let it drop to the ground.

When he got close enough, I started unfastening the front of his shirt and he kissed me again, flooding so much magic through the kiss my whole body felt like liquid fire. His gold tattoos already glowed faintly below his collarbones. I traced them with my fingers as he wrapped his arms under my legs, and lifted me up.

He stared at my eyes, and something in that gaze stabbed at my heart.

His eyes slid down the rest of me next, and I saw heat grow in his gaze.

I’d borrowed clothes from Jolie and Miranda all weekend, so I’d forgotten what I was wearing. I’d had nothing with me but the dark green trousers and white shirt I wore to meet them after breakfast that morning, both of which got ruined, but now I wore a dark purple dress Miranda insisted went perfectly with my eyes.

“She’s right,” he said, gruff, and reached between us to slide two fingers inside me up to the knuckle. “You look insanely fuckable right now.”

I let out an involuntary cry and arched against his hand.

“Does it make me a prick to notice that, after you just got hurt?” he asked.

I shook my head, gasping as I clasped his neck.

He gripped me more tightly, holding my back against the thick trunk of a tree as his fingers worked in and out of me, excruciatingly slow as his thumb ran circles over my clit. I broke out in a sweat when he used his magic to stop me from coming, somehow holding me on that edge until I clutched at hair, then his chest.

I couldn’t stand it anymore and reached down rub my hand over his cock, which he pressed against my palm and groaned. I fumbled to unbuckle his belt, unfastened the front of his trousers, and he pressed me harder against the tree, removing his fingers from me long enough to free his cock. My mind hadn’t yet caught up when he angled all the way inside me. I could feel him holding back, even now, trying to be gentle, or more gentle than he might’ve been.

“I’m fine,” I assured him, panting as my fingers clutched at his hair and shoulders. “I’m fine. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He let out a gruff laugh.

He arched into me with a touch more force, but I could still feel him holding back.