Page 38 of Serpent and Shadow

I tried to remember what he’d done in Bonescastle that night.

“Explain it to me anyway,” I cajoled. “If you’re right, and I can’t do it, what does it matter? Tell me how you do it, Bones. Do you just think about the place you want to go and run at a wall? Do you cast? Use mudras?”

He shook his head on the stone, and I saw that he’d started bleeding again.

Blood trickled from under his hairline down his cheek and to his jaw.

That was new. He must have gotten that today.

That, or my mind added it in, maybe because I feared it whenever I saw him.

“I can’t tell you,” he growled.

“Won’t, you mean.”

“Can’t,” he said, harsher. “I’ve always done it. I did it on accident first. When I was afraid.” He swallowed, and shook his head. “How can I explain something I don’t understand? Something I did accidentally, that stops working if my emotions are too volatile? If I’m tired? Or hurt? Or if I’ve drunk too much?”

I bit my lip. I didn’t want to call him a liar again.

I changed tacks.

“But you must intend to do it, right?” I prodded. “The times it works?”

“Yes,” he said reluctantly. “I intend to do it. I feel a part of my magic. A kind of buzzing, fast-moving part. I feel that, I gear into it, and then I think about where I want to go. I think about it really hard, or there’s a good chance I’ll end up somewhere else.”

“No mudras? No spells?”

“They can help me focus,” he said into his skin. “They’re not necessary. Like you said, sometimes it just works when I fall into, or run into, or get thrown into a wall. Or a window. Or a closet door. Or once, a shrub.”

He hesitated, and I felt him regret having said that much.

He looked up at me with those glowing gold eyes.

“It’s dangerous, Leda. I couldn’t control it at all, not for years. I ended up in strange places. Non-Magical places. Different times. Places that nearly got me killed.”

He closed his eyes, and I saw a pained look cross his face.

“Gods, please just leave me here. Please.”

“I can’t.”

He looked at me like he didn’t believe me, either. “You’ll want to, soon enough,” he growled. “You won’t want anything to do with me, Leda.”

I gripped his hand, fighting to put more magic into him.

“You’ll hate me,” he said coldly. “He’ll make sure that you do.”

“I won’t,” I promised.

“You will.” He spoke with deadened certainty. His eyes closed where his face rested on the stone. “I’ve already told him I’ll do it. I’ve already agreed.”

I felt my stomach drop as I looked into the darkness.

“Do what?” I whispered. At his silence, my heart thudded painfully in my chest. “Why would you agree to anything he wants? You know he won’t stop hurting you. You know he’ll just find another reason. Why would you help him, Bones?”

He let out a humorless grunt, but didn’t open his eyes.

“Why do you think, wife?” he murmured. He squeezed my hand tighter, and brought it to his lips. Kissing my knuckles, he pressed his face against my palm.