Page 96 of Serpent and Shadow

I stared up at Bones’s ceiling, my jaw clenched.

I tried to use my sun primal by itself––no rituals, no cock piercings that doubled as homing devices. I tried to just feel him.

Bones? I whispered.

Silence greeted me.

Bones? I tried again. Are you there? Are you awake?

No one answered.

Had he really been speaking to me like I remembered? Could he have been conscious he was speaking to me? I strongly suspected he hadn’t been, but how would I even know? I didn’t even know which things my mind made up and which actually happened. The entire night could be what my imagination concocted to convince me I could reach him, that everything would be all right when it most definitely wasn’t.

Go away, Leda, my mind whispered.

I blinked, swallowing a sudden tightness in my throat.

Come looking for me again, and I swear to the gods I’ll fucking kill you…

I fought to breathe, my arm wrapped around my chest.

I’ll kill you, Leda. I’ll kill you… worthless, conniving cunt… worst thing that ever happened to me… leave me the fuck along…

Those were words I knew I’d heard, that I couldn’t forget, or convince myself he hadn’t meant. I’d never repeated them, not to anyone, certainly not verbatim, although I strongly suspected Blackstone knew.

Don’t ever fucking come back or I’ll kill you––

“Are you awake?” a bleary-sounding voice asked. “Leda? I think something’s here for you. By the fireplace? Or was I dreaming?”

My mind clicked fully awake.

I sat up abruptly, and looked around the room, blinking rapidly to clear my eyes, rubbing my face with a hand and combing my hair back so I could better focus. I didn’t see anything or anyone, despite scanning the area by the fireplace, the kitchen, the walk-in closet. The door to the lavatory was closed, but I always kept it closed.

The window latch had been left slightly ajar.

The alarm I’d felt at Alaric’s words faded.

A drakai must have come in, and left me something. A note. Another book from Forsooth, or even one of my London newspapers. I had a box with my name on it down in the Malcroix postal area, but when it got full things got sent here, too.

I tried to remember the last time I’d been down there to empty the box.

I glanced over at my friend, who’d pulled the duvet and blanket back over his head.

I’d let Alaric spend the night again.

Bones would definitely hate that if he knew, especially how often it happened, especially with us sharing his bed after he’d explicitly asked me not to do that, specifically with Alaric. But I understood why Alaric hadn’t wanted to be alone, and I hadn’t wanted to be alone, either.

Also, I was pretty sure Luc told Alaric to stay.

None of them trusted me now, not after what I’d done yesterday.

I couldn’t exactly blame them.

“Leda?” Alaric prodded my back with his fingers. “Did you hear me?”

“I did,” I yawned. “Are you going to make the coffee while I shower?”

He shifted to his back, exhaled, and yanked down the top of the duvet.