Page 12 of ’Til You Break

I shouldn’t have lied about the interview.

I don’t even know why I did it. It’s not as though Vik expects me to stay here for a few nights and then disappear. But given everything he’s doing for me, part of me wants to make him proud. To show him I’m trying my best to get my life back on track.

The way Vik cornered me this morning confused me and I said some things without thinking. Now that I’m alone, again, I’m less startled but more confused. I wonder why, when I was with Vik, I let my mind wander somewhere it absolutely shouldn’t have.

When his clothes brushed against my skin and the warm rush of his breath fanned across my face, I felt something other than fear. Twisted thoughts flooded my mind while he stood over me.

I wanted... something else.

I wanted to reach out and touch him.

To feel the hard muscle beneath his shirt.

To trace his old scars with my fingertips while I wondered how he got every single one.

I felt so small beside him. So fragile. Twisted ideas leapt to my mind when his sheer size towered over me. How tiny and weak I was next to him. If he’d wanted to, he could have thrown me over his shoulder and carried me wherever he pleased without breaking into a sweat.

Somehow that thought drowned out everything else.

I’d imagined his hands on my body. Holding me. Touching places his hands have no business touching. All while I breathe in the warm, oaky scent of his cologne.

Goodness.

After breakfast, I jump in the shower and get ready for my “interview.”

I settle on wearing a black blouse and a grey plaid skirt. I add a light touch of makeup and a pair of black heels. It’s almost exactly what I wore to my interview at the hospital, where I last worked.

Then it’s back to waiting.

Time crawls when there’s nothing to do but sit on your hands. Every minute stretches into its own little eternity.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Just before noon, when I’m about to leave, my phone rings.

After weeks of its silence, the sound nearly sends me tumbling off the bed. For one ridiculous second, I let myself hope it’s someone calling with a job offer.

It isn’t. It’s Lindsey Holte.

We were good friends before everything happened. Now, I’m surprised she has called at all. She was one of the people who turned their backs on me.

Still, we manage a short conversation and make plans to meet for lunch.

I accepted her suggestion without hesitation, for more than one reason.

First, it helps keep my lie to Vik alive.

Second, getting out of this house is probably the smartest thing I can do right now.

Sitting alone in my room has given me too much time to think. What happened this morning shouldn’t have excited me.

Vik wanted to intimidate me. To make sure I understood where the boundaries were. My body simply refused to listen.

No matter how often my thoughts drift back to what it would feel like to touch him, I must bury those fantasies. He thinks I haven’t noticed the way he looks at me when he thinks I’m not paying attention. But I have caught his glances.