Page 54 of ’Til You Break

“That isn’t what I’m doing.”

“How am I supposed to believe that?” She sounds remarkably calm when I can barely hold myself together. Under different circumstances, I might even admire her.

“You don’t get to decide I’m important when you need me. Or when someone else wants me. Fuck, Vik, you won’t even kiss me.”

Every word lands like a knife. The solution is so painfully simple. Break down the walls. Give Hannah what I’ve denied both of us.

“I never said you weren’t important.”

“You didn’t have to. You’ve shown me time and time again.”

The doctor reaches across and pushes open the passenger door. My pulse surges. She’s about to disappear for the evening with another man. And she expects me to stand here and let it happen.

Something snaps. Almost without thinking, my hand moves behind my back. My fingers brush the cold steel of my Colt. Ever since my meeting with Brian Harris, I’ve carried it everywhere.

Now I wish I hadn’t. But that gun also represents the biggest difference between the doctor and me.

He’s built a career out of saving lives. I’ve built mine taking them.

“Don’t do this, Hannah.” The words leave my mouth before I have time to think.

“Don’t do what?” she fires back.

“Don’t get in that car.”

“I’ll see you later, Vik.”

She slides into the passenger seat. She shakes her head as though I’ve completely lost my mind. Maybe I have.

They look at each other. Their lips move, but I can’t hear what they’re saying. The headlights flare to life. The engine rumbles.

Before the doctor can shift into reverse, I draw my gun. I level it at his chest. I don’t want to pull the trigger. But I can’t let Hannah slip further away.

I stop breathing. They stop moving. The whole world falls silent. As though time itself has frozen.

“Jesus Christ! What the fuck?” Hannah’s muffled voice reaches me through the glass.

It isn’t enough to make me lower the gun. She isn’t leaving with him. She says something to the doctor before throwing open the door.

The moment she steps clear of the car, I lower my weapon. The doctor doesn’t hesitate. Within seconds, his brake lights are disappearing into the darkness.

“Are you fucking crazy?” Hannah screams, paying no attention to the car barreling away down the street. Her voice barely cuts through the pounding in my ears.

“Why do you even have a gun?” She’s terrified.

The tremor in her voice finally forces me to understand what I’ve done. But it’s too late to take any of it back. If the police turn up, I know how to deal with them.

“I can’t lose you, Hannah.” The words leave my mouth as little more than a whisper.

“Why?” She frowns. “All you’ve done is push me away. Hurt me. And now you’re willing to kill someone over something that doesn’t even matter?”

I step toward her. She doesn’t move. Even now... she knows I would never hurt her.

“No, Hannah.” I slide one arm around her waist and the other behind her neck.

“It does matter. You matter.” I rest my forehead against hers.

Her whole body trembles. I search her eyes and hate the fear I see staring back at me. She may never forgive me for this.