Page 59 of ’Til You Break

No... It’s the thought of closing the door on the life that’s defined me for so long.

There is a bright side. When one door closes, another opens. And Hannah is waiting on the other side of mine. Soon, I’ll be able to give her every part of myself. Without the past weighing us down. Without anything standing between us.

It won’t be long now.

By the time I arrive home, it’s later than I intended. I expect the house to be dark and silent. At this hour, Hannah’s usually curled up in bed with Muffin. I slip inside quietly and tuck my mask and gloves into my back pocket in case she sees me.

When I reach the hallway outside my bedroom, I see a soft blue glow spilling through the gap beneath the door. A sign of life. It stirs something inside me I thought I’d lost long ago.

Happiness. Excitement. The foolish belief that things can only get better from here.

I ease the door open and look inside.

Hannah’s lying on her stomach, watching a romantic comedy with Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts. Half my pillows are piled around her like a soft little fortress while she chuckles at something on the television. I love the sight.

The room is no longer the immaculate space I leave every morning. It’s comfortable. Lived in. No longer just mine.

It’s ours.

I don’t realize I’m smiling until my cheeks begin to ache.

She doesn’t notice me. The television has her full attention, giving me the perfect opportunity to slip quietly into the room.

Muffin scurries from one side of the bed to the other, pouncing on invisible prey and meowing ferociously. He looks up at me.

I raise a finger to my lips, silently asking him not to give me away. And, as if he actually understands me, the kitten returns to hunting invisible ghosts.

“What do we have here?” I ask, reaching the edge of the bed. Hannah jumps, yelping at my sudden appearance.

“Jeez, Vik, you nearly scared the pants off me,” she says, pressing a hand to her chest.

“Good. I wasn’t planning on letting them stay on.”

Having her here reaffirms how much I want this. An end to the constant tug-of-war between my two obsessions. A chance to focus on the one that’ll stay with me for the rest of my life.

Hannah giggles and tries to roll onto her back. I grab her ankles before she gets too far. She doesn’t resist, settling back onto her stomach.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

I crawl over her, my hands working their way up her calves and over her back. When I reach her shoulders, I press my lips to her neck, greeting her the best way I know how.

“Nowhere, as long as you keep rubbing my back,” she murmurs, relaxing beneath my touch.

“Good thing I’m only getting started then,” I whisper against her skin.

Deep down, if I were a smarter man, I’d stop. I’d focus on the task ahead. In a few days, this could be our normal. No more sneaking home late. No more lying about where I’ve been. But I can’t stop when it comes to Hannah.

My body is drawn to her.

“Busy day?”

Her question catches me off guard. Did something in my voice give me away? My late arrival? Or is this simply what normal people do when the person they love comes home?

Hannah notices my lips have gone still. She gathers her ponytail into one fist and pulls it aside.

“Yes, but it’s better now,” I say, pushing my concerns aside.

“Is that so?” she asks coyly. “Please, do tell me why.”