Page 52 of Triton

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Aria

Six Months later

On a cold winter day,my plane touched down in San Diego. Had it really been five months since I’d left my heart here? I was so ashamed of running out like a child. And now I was back. Would I run into Erik? I wondered if he was even stateside or if he was deployed? As much as I missed him, I secretly hoped he was deployed so I wouldn’t run into him. Until after I had passed BUD/S. I didn’t need that distraction. One look at him on base and I would lose all my focus.

Even worse than my fear of confronting him was how much I missed him. I had deluded myself into thinking I would be able to get over him so easily. But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. I dreamt of him every night, and he filled my thoughts every second of the day. Every time I achieved a goal in my pre-BUD/S training, he was the first person I wanted to call. I had even stalked him on Facebook. Each time I refreshed his page, my heart stood still for a second, because I dreaded seeing a profile picture of him with his arm wrapped around a girl. But luckily for me, his picture remained only of him. Either way, I knew my obsession with him wasn’t healthy. I hoped that one day after I completed BUD/S, I could see him and get some closure. And better yet, I dreamed that he would give me anothershot.

Isa and I remained in constant contact regarding Flounder. I hadn’t told her either that I had joined the Navy. Once I made it through hell week, I planned to apply to live off base and rent a place in Coronado for Flounder andme.

I waited at the baggage claim for my luggage and then boarded the bus for the Naval Special Warfare base. As we drove over the Coronado bridge, my mind flashed back to my first kiss with Erik. Gah, what was wrong with me? I had to push him out of my mind now, or there was no chance of me succeeding.

At least Officer Candidate School had been easy. Twelve weeks seemed like a breeze compared to what I was in for at BUD/S.

There was only one thing I dreaded more than seeingErik.

DirtyName.

I had studied so many videos since I’d left San Diego. And though it looked so easy on tape, it was a mental block for menow.

Like riding a bike hadbeen.

UntilErik.

He had been the one to force me to overcome my bikingfear.

I needed him to help me conquer my biggest fear of all. DirtyName.

But I’d blown any opportunity of that happening.

At this point, it was psychological. It had tobe.

As we passed the Del, my heart hitched. Seeing the pool where I had met Erik, passing his condo, gazing at the ocean where we had made love, it was too much for me. I had to stop thinking abouthim.

The bus pulled into the gate, and my heart pounded in my chest as I scanned the men for any sign of Erik. But luckily there wasn’t any. Blowing out a relieved breath, I focused on what was ahead of me. Tomorrow I would start with Physical Training Rehabilitation and Remediation for a few weeks before I joined the Indoctrination Phase.

Then I would start First Phase. The first woman in history to be in BUD/S.

I couldn’t wait. Bringit.

One more step toward my goal. My destiny. My future.

If I failed, then I would have given up my love for nothing.

But if I succeeded, then maybe it would be worth it. Maybe Erik would even understand that I had had no choice but to break up with him. I would be able to prove to him that a woman could pass BUD/S and he would finally realize how wrong he hadbeen.

He would forgive me for deceiving him, and I would forgive him for his antiquated views.

Any maybe he would love me again.