Page 52 of Beast

I had to get him back.

And Marisol—I could kill her. She claimed to have been trapped by the press and that she was in fact telling them that I actually liked him despite his scars but they misquoted her. If Grady never took me back, I would never forgive her.

I plugged my phone into the car and pressed the button for my ballroom mix, long hidden from my ears. First song that came on was a foxtrot, “You’re Nobody Till Somebody Loves You.” Dean Martin’s soothing voice penetrated deep into my soul. Memories flashed back of competing at Blackpool in England, Pasha leading me around the floor, the crowd screaming our number, my mom shouting louder than everyone.

Grady was right. I missed dancing—not the drama, not the show, but dancing. When my mom died, I’d banished that entire part of my life. It took being around a man who’d lost his own dream to realize how my own heart ached for mine.

I pulled over to the next shopping area, and set my eyes on a coffee shop. But I had something important to take care of first.

One last dance, for me, for Grady. Maybe if he could see me face my fears, he could conquer his.

I dialed the numbers, my hands shaking.

“Hello?”

Benny, I hadn’t heard his voice in years. My former mentor. My master coach. Benny held one link to my past. A past I refused to ignore anymore. “Benny, it’s Isa. I’m ready to dance again. Is there anyway you can find a place for me on the show?”

33

Grady

I was alone in this amazing house, the scent of Isa still lingering in the air. I was due back on base for my next round of treatments. Useless treatments that hadn’t helped me at all.

Had Isa meant what she’d said? That she not only loved me but thought that we could have a beautiful life together? Even if she’d told me the truth about what she’d said to her friend, the damage was done.

And she baited me. “But I’m going to do something about it.” I’d once been a leader, men followed my orders, lived and died by my decisions, they entrusted me with their lives.

A leader takes action, fixes what’s wrong, and doesn’t sit around and give up.

I’d never look the way I had before the war, but I could be that man again.

I logged into the computer and searched around, finding a list of residential treatment programs I’d been referred to. I’d always refused to even consider attending. But experiencing a glimpse of happiness with Isa made me want to see if I could really heal.

After an hour of searching, one program stood out to me. Thirty days, on a working ranch, hunting, fishing, living off the land. Of course there was the usual bullshit, daily therapy, group and individual.

Once I saw the price tag, my hopes were dashed. But I knew I needed this. I’d find a way. Maybe when I finished treatment, I could start over with Isa. But I wasn’t doing this for her, or even as a way to get her back, I was doing this for me.

34

Bella

Benny had pulled some strings, and I’d been asked to come on the show as a member of the troupe. The troupe. A backup dancer to younger dancers. Dancers I’d trained. But I had no problem eating my humble pie. This gift helped me in two ways—I needed the money and it would also provide me a way to heal my soul. Reconnect with dancing. Fall back in love with the passion that had consumed my life.

I hadn’t danced in years. I was grateful for this opportunity.

Benny Brooks, my larger-than-life former coach and resident jerk judge strolled into the studio wearing a purple suit with a black dress shirt and a bolo tie. At almost sixty, the self-proclaimed Silver Fox still commanded a room and even had recently married a dancer forty years his junior.

“Isa, luv, I knew you’d be back. That was surer than a bum in the bucket.”

I laughed as he embraced me and gave him the required cheek kiss. I’d missed his crass Australian humor. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”

“Well, that’s not all, lassie. I read that you’re involved with that hero, that soldier.”

Great. Grady was right, the story had gone viral. “He’s a Marine, not a soldier.”

“Right. We’ve been after him for a year to come on the show. Maybe you could sway him?”

Ha! That was almost laughable. “He’s not even speaking to me now.”