Page 37 of Secret Redemption

“We both know that’s not what happened,” Zack shouted angrily, a red flush darkening his cheeks.

“Yeah Zack, we know that, but he doesn’t!” Kanan shouted back, anger and rage and pain radiating from him.

“He does,” Zack said quietly and sat back down. His eyes caught hers, and she could see shame there.

“What the fuck, Zack?” Kanan hissed.

“I told him just after I passed selection. I came home, and we fought. It was ugly, but he knows. They both know it was my fault that Catherine died that night and they also know I let you take the blame.”

“Why Zack? Why tell them? The damage was already done. She was gone, why do that?”

“Because by lying, not only did he lose a daughter, but he also lost two sons, and I had lost my sister and best friend. I couldn’t live with it anymore. I knew the missions we would take in the SAS would be more dangerous and I didn’t want to meet my maker with that on my conscience.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was too late. I had taken the cowards way out, and the damage had already been done. By doing what I did, I lost my family and best friend. Whatever I did after wouldn't atone for that.”

“Why did he not say anything or reach out to me?” Kanan asked, and Ava could hear the hurt that was just below the surface in his voice.

“Shame. Shame that he had turned on you as he did. Shame in my actions, shame that he didn’t trust his instincts that something was up that night. He admitted he knew we were lying but he didn’t know what about, and in his grief and confusion, he lashed out.”

Kanan nodded, and Ava heard Celeste sniff beside her as she wiped away the silent tears that poured down her cheeks for the men that had lost so much. Standing, Ava crossed to Zack and pulling his crossed hands from his knees, she slid onto his lap, curling her body into his and offering him comfort in the only way she could. He tensed and then relaxed, his arms slipping around her to hold her to his chest. Ava watched Celeste sit beside her brother and take his hand. Kanan flinched but didn’t pull away.

“I’m sorry K. I’ll never be able to make it up to you, and I’m not asking for forgiveness, but I do need you to know how deeply sorry I am.”

Kanan released Celeste’s hand and stood moving closer to Zack. Ava tensed as he got close, knowing that the man in front of her was dangerous. She jumped when he shot out his hand, holding it there for Zack to take.

Zack leaned forward but kept her on his knee with his arm around her back.

“Thank you, K,” he said, looking up.

“No problem brother,” K countered, and Ava saw Zack’s lashes lower slowly, and the tension in his shoulders relax.

“Now about that job?”

They spent the next hour hashing out the details of the potential move of the civilians to Cunningham Estate. Ava wondered about the details of the night Catherine had died, and what exactly had happened to cause so much pain to so many. Maybe she would ask. Then again, maybe she wouldn’t bother. The past was done, and it was time to move forward.

“So, Ava, you’ve been pretty quiet. What are your thoughts on this move?” Zack asked. She was sitting on the couch beside him, as when she had gotten up to move from his knee, he had slid her next to him, wrapping his big arm around her and holding her safe. She was now sitting with her feet tucked under her bottom, leaning against Zack’s side. It felt good; it felt natural.

“I think it’s a great idea; it will tighten up security and keep the team more focused. The guys will be able to keep an eye on the ball better knowing their loved ones are safe and secure. I’m not entirely sure though, how you will convince them to move.”

“I won’t convince them. I’ll tell them it’s happening. It’s best for everyone, we’re at war, and when you’re at war, you follow the chain of command. In this situation that’s me,” He finished arrogantly.

“Don’t be an overbearing ass, Zack,” Ava exclaimed.

“I’m not, but I’m right, and you know it.”

“Cocky!” she exclaimed.

“Don’t you trust me, Ava?”

Ava could see the slight flicker of doubt in his eyes. “Of course, I do Zack. If anyone can keep us safe, it’s you. I trust you with my life, and even more, I trust you with a life more precious. Our son’s life,” she said softly, wanting to erase the doubt from his beautifully masculine face.

Heat curled through her at the low growl that left his throat, just before his lips slammed down on hers. Her whole body shivered at the onslaught of his lips as he kissed her hard and deep, his hands tunnelling into her hair and restraining her in such a dominant gesture that her nipples tingled and hardened and her sex clenched.

She heard a door close and in the back of her mind, hoped it was Kanan and Celeste leaving. But in that moment, she didn’t care if they left or stayed. All she cared about was the feelings running through her body, making her hunger for every dark rich touch of his mouth on hers.

She moaned as Zack wrenched his mouth from hers. She watched hungrily, the pulse in her neck thrumming as he strode to the door and deliberately locked it, his eyes never leaving hers. He prowled back towards her slowly, and she took in the sexy swagger of his hips, her eyes moving up as he reached over his head, and grabbing the back of his t-shirt pulled it, tossing it carelessly on the floor. Ava tried to control the need to reach for him as she watched the ripple of the tattoo on his chest. Her eyes tracked down to the light smattering of hair that led to his rock-hard abs and the mouth-watering sexy V at his hips.