Page 21 of Stolen Salvation

“It was my fault.” Noah’s voice was like gravel as he whispered his admission.

“What? No. I knew better than to climb. I was impatient and stupid. I should’ve waited.”

“And I should have built the crib so you didn’t feel you had to.”

Emotion was thick in the room as they bared their souls in front of a man who’d probably seen this a thousand times.

“If I may?”

Charlie blinked and turned to the doctor, forcing her eyes away from the open wound of the man she loved.

“I think you both have a lot of built-up and misplaced guilt over this loss. A loss that was most likely nothing to do with the fall.”

“The doctor said it was.”

Dr Joseph looked at them over his glasses. “Well, without the file I can’t say for sure, but I do know some counselling would be good for you both. There’s a lot of guilt here and IVF is brutal.”

Charlie didn’t want to go down that path, she already felt like her soul had been ripped open for all to see. “Is it possible to see the facilities?”

“Yes, of course. Let me show you around.”

Charlie felt air expand in her lungs as the doctor gave her a brief reprieve from the depth of emotion in the room.

He led them through wide double doors, away from the exam rooms using a lanyard on his hip to unlock the door. Back here things were more sterile and less opulent. People wore scrubs and comfy shoes, and men and women in lab coats chatted in the hallways. It was busy and she couldn’t help thinking at least part of this operation was above the table and genuine.

“This is very much like a hospital,” Charlie stated as Noah walked beside her, his hand once again entangled with hers.

“Yes, we have exam rooms at the front and then our labour and delivery wards back here. There’s also a ward for our mothers who are staying long term because of complications.”

“Do those arise a lot?”

“No, usually it’s multiples that cause the mother to need bed rest or if they have a medical morbidity that makes the pregnancy more complex.”

“You perform other services like terminations here?”

Noah’s question made the doctor stop short. “We do, Mr Salisbury. Every woman has the right to decide what happens to her body and we offer that to them here. We also facilitate adoptions for those that feel they cannot terminate but aren’t able to raise the child themselves.”

“Do you see a lot of that?”

“More than I’d like to, I’m afraid.”

“You don’t approve?”

“No, on the contrary, I believe in freedom of choice. But it saddens me that an unwanted pregnancy happens as much as it does. It’s never easy for mothers to give a child away or end a pregnancy. Ah, here we are, here’s the nursery.”

Dr Joseph stopped at a window and Charlie braced herself to look at the tiny faces. Five small clear plastic bassinets were in the middle of the room. Five identical faces stared back at her. Tiny bodies wrapped in white blankets, little pink or blue hats on their heads. Arms came around her waist and she leaned back into Noah’s strength as an ache deep inside her threatened to overwhelm her. His entire body wrapped her up and held her together, his lips on her hair, his heart pounding as hard as hers was.

“This was a difficult pregnancy, but mum and babies are doing well. All six will go home soon and then the fun really begins.”

“They’re perfect.”

“Yes they are, and we’ll get that for you, too. Your files suggest nothing to me that would stop you from getting pregnant. In fact, the fact you’ve carried a child and conceived naturally suggests you will again. I’ll run some tests and we’ll set a date to begin.”

His words and the certainty behind them that she’d one day become a mother almost dragged the sob from her throat. He couldn’t know the scar he was opening with his words or the future he suggested was impossible because the man who held her so tight now hated her. The image they were portraying was a myth, a story.

“Could we take a few minutes, Dr Joseph?”

She heard Noah speak and blinked the sting from her eyes, as she tried to swallow past the glass in her throat. “No, it’s fine. I’m okay.” She knew her smile didn’t fool Noah but he let it go, as did Dr Joseph. “May I use the ladies first, though?” She needed to remember why she was there and not allow the past to ruin her sister’s life.