Page 42 of Fundamentals of Chemistry

“I’ll come with you.” The voice, like black velvet, wrapped around me, making my breath catch in my chest.

“That’s what she said!” Phyllis whispered loud enough for all of us to hear.

Chapter 14

Confessional

Cooper followed me to the drink table. After actively avoiding me for what felt like an eternity, he was suddenly right next to me, close enough to touch. He was acting like the last week and our almost-kiss had never happened. It was exhilarating and confusing. Had something happened to change his mind about me?

Or maybe, said a little voice in the back of my brain, maybe he missed you. Maybe he’s been thinking about you too.

I shook my head. The thought was ridiculous.

But regardless of why, the fact was that he was here. I decided to play it cool.

“Do you want anything?” I had to raise my voice over the ambient sounds of the party.

I reached for a bottle of ginger ale and tried to twist off the cap. It wouldn’t budge. I tried again, with a tighter grip and more force. Still nothing. This was getting embarrassing.

“Here. Let me.”

My eyes tracked from the bottle in his hands, up his arms and neck, to his face. He was backlit by orange and half concealed by shadows. My heart was beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings.

“Thank you,” I managed to say. “I hear you’re an expert at opening pop bottles.”

He returned my smile when he handed back the open soda bottle, looking like Hephaestus in the firelight. Yep—without a doubt—I was fucked.

“I’ll have one of those too,” he said.

I fumbled for a fresh cup and filled it for him before refilling my own. “If you want anything to doctor it up, you’ll have to see Phyllis. I really wasn’t planning on drinking tonight.”

“I hadn’t planned on coming,” he said, thumb grazing my hand as he accepted the cup. A zing of electricity shot up my arm.

“Then why did you?”

Before the words had even left my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t have asked. There was no chance he would say what I wanted to hear. I wanted to see you. I regret ending our game. I like you. I missed you.

He paused, then replied, “Alan wanted to.”

Hope blew out of me like air from a deflating balloon. I tried not to let the disappointment show on my face.

“Oh. I see. You two seem close.”

“He’s one of my oldest friends. He was a year ahead of us at school.”

Ugh. I was such an asshole. I had absolutely no idea. Who else had I overlooked? Had Ashley and TJ been in our class too?

“You don’t remember him either, do you?”

I jerked my head up, hoping my cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. “Well, I—”

“It’s fine. We weren’t in your circle.” There was a touch of bitterness in his words, though he was clearly trying to seem unbothered.

My heart cracked as I was reminded of Miriam. I had made him feel like an outsider then just like she was feeling now. I hated to be the reason that he had felt excluded. No one should feel that way.

“You didn’t seem fine with it before,” I said, so softly that he had to lean in to hear me.

“Before,” he began, “I… uh… I wasn’t expecting… you.”