Page 50 of Fundamentals of Chemistry

I mirrored his nod and offered a parting smile before closing the large door behind me.

“Is everything alright, Mel?”

I let out a long, heavy breath, my head spinning. The meeting had been brief, but I had experienced a roller coaster of emotions. “Yes. I mean, no. I mean… my sections didn’t do very well on the first exam.”

“Ah,” TJ said with a nod. “But you’re a smart girl. I’m sure you’ll do better on the next one.”

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, there’s still time. I’ll see you later, okay?”

I was turning to leave when something made me pause, and I turned back. “TJ?”

She looked up at me from her desk, and whatever she saw on my face made a look of mild concern spread over hers. “What’s on your mind, honey?”

I leaned my forearms on her counter and paused for a moment before speaking. “I’ve always heard teaching was so fulfilling. When do I start feeling… fulfilled?”

TJ regarded me with a thoughtful expression. “I’m no teacher, but I’m sure that will come in time. Just keep focusing on your kids, and one day you’ll wake up and know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

I was pretty sure I’d seen that exact quote on an inspirational social media post. Or maybe a little wooden sign in the Target decor section.

“I’ve been working toward this for a couple of years,” I sighed. “I can’t imagine doing anything else. It makes me sick to think about leaving before I can see it through.”

TJ swatted the air as if to brush the thought away. “Oh, don’t get yourself all twisted up about something that hasn’t happened. There are too many other things to think about.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Like figuring out how to stop sucking.” My chest was tight, and that damn lump was back in my throat.

“Oh, honey.” TJ slid a warm hand over my arm and squeezed. “You can’t say things like that. You have everything you need to be successful already inside you.”

I sniffed and offered her a weak smile.

“You know what you should do,” she said, sitting up straighter in her chair. “You should talk to Jackson. I’m sure that sweet man would be tickled pink to help you.”

I couldn’t help the laugh I snorted. “Richmond said the same thing. But I doubt Cooper would help me, even if I wasn’t his competition for this exact job.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” TJ mused. “He seems like the helpful type to me. And it’s really about the students at the end of the day, right?”

I chewed on my lip while I considered that. It really was about the students, not me. But my interactions with Cooper were complicated. He was scorching hot one minute, then freezing me out the next. I still couldn’t make sense of his apology—I had been an eager and willing participant in that kiss. He hadn’t done anything wrong.

And now I needed to convince him to help me. Which would probably mean spending a lot of time together. I groaned.

“I know I need to, but I’m just not sure I can.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic.” She waved her hand, brushing away the thought like a gnat. “It can’t hurt to ask.”

My face scrunched up like I had just taken a big whiff of sulfur. “Or,” I countered, “I might die of humiliation.”

TJ just laughed and waved a hand at me. “Oh, honey. Go find that man and get yourself sorted out.”

I squeezed my eyes closed and took a moment to resign myself to this fate. Richmond had told me to ask Cooper for help, so I had to do it whether I wanted to or not. And TJ might have been right about him being willing to help if I had asked a week ago. But she didn’t know about the kiss. Not that that mattered.

“Yes, ma’am,” I sighed, drumming my nails on the counter.

I could do this. I could talk to Cooper. I had done much more awkward things in the past and managed to overcome them.

My brain flashed back to my first chemistry lab at Columbia. Despite insisting I knew what I was doing, I had mixed acetic acid and sodium hypochlorite, causing the whole lab to fill with toxic chlorine gas. The lab had to be evacuated and decontaminated after several students vomited. I shuddered at the memory.

Talking to Cooper would be no big deal. Probably.

Campus was a riot of red, orange, yellow, and brown from the changing leaves. I breathed in deep lungfuls of crisp, chilly air as I made my way back over to Franklin Hall. Cooper’s second class would end in ten minutes, and I was hoping to catch him on his way out of the building.