Page 95 of Fundamentals of Chemistry

I considered, then shook my head. “No, but thanks for offering.” Ashley hadn’t known about my romance with Jack, and telling her now wouldn’t do any good.

“Well, I’m here if you change your mind.”

I smiled and nodded in acknowledgment.

“So, when do you expect Richmond to make a decision about the chemistry post? The semester is practically over, so it should be any time now, right?”

My brow furrowed. “We still have three weeks left.”

“Technically, yes. But finals week doesn’t really count. And the week before will just be review for finals. And that just leaves this week which has already started. So, the semester is basically over.”

At that moment, my phone pinged with a new email. “It’s from Richmond,” I said. “A meeting request for this afternoon.”

Ashley pointed at me with her fork. “I’ll bet he’s going to tell you his decision. Mark my words.”

I sipped my coffee while I thought. Ashley’s logic made a kind of twisted sense, but it felt too soon. I was still aching from losing Jack. The prospect of officially losing Newbury too was more than I could handle.

“Maybe.” I tried to sound nonchalant, but the word came out sounding extremely chalant.

“Definitely. And I’m sure you got it.” Ashley had more than enough confidence for the both of us.

I snorted. “How can you be sure?”

“Manifesting,” she said, eyes wide. “I’ve been putting good vibes out into the universe all semester. The universe is bringing it back.”

“I didn’t realize you were so spiritual.”

“I’m not. But manifesting is science, not woo-woo stuff. For example, at the beginning of the term my request for new textbooks was denied due to lack of funds. But then two weeks ago, I was notified that my request was being granted thanks to a large unexpected donation.”

“You manifested a donation?” I couldn’t hide my smirk.

“You can’t manifest a donation. That would be ridiculous. But I do think that I manifested wealth and abundance.”

“Ah. I see. And what have you been manifesting for me?” I asked.

“Sisterhood and feminine power.”

My smile softened. Ashley could seem blunt and insensitive at times, but she really did care.

“Well, I hope you’re right,” I said. “I’ve been mentally preparing myself for a dismissal, but I would love to stay. This place is home.”

My smile turned sad as Jack slipped unbidden to the front of my mind. He had been a large part of what made this place somewhere I wanted to be. It was so much more than a job.

Ashley picked up on my melancholy but misinterpreted it. “See, you can’t think like that. Don’t think about what can go wrong, only what can go right. Repeat after me: I am a good person, and I deserve good things. Say it!”

“I am a good person,” I repeated, dutifully. “And I deserve good things.”

But wasn’t Jack also a good person? Didn’t he also deserve good things? As far as I was concerned, he had dealt with much more than his share of bullshit between feeling like an outsider, working twice as hard as anyone else, and still not getting ahead. Not to mention his cheating ex-girlfriend.

No, he hadn’t deserved any of that. He was a good person that kept drawing bad hand after bad hand through no fault of his own. He deserved a few good things too.

“There you go,” Ashley said. “Keep up that attitude, and you will be manifesting abundance before you know it.”

I wished Ashley a good day and excused myself from the table. I helped myself to a to-go cup of coffee before making my way to Franklin Hall to teach Fun Chem.

My heart broke a little at the look Jack gave me when we transitioned between sections. If I had thought his indifference hurt earlier in the year, it was nothing compared to the loathing that I saw there now. I barely made it out of the building before the tears came again.

Chapter 29