Page 42 of Playing for Keeps

“Damn the man!” Melissa, Kristen, and I echoed as Jordan drained her shot glass in one fell swoop. She slammed it down upside down on the table, pointing to our own little Harley Quinn.

Kelly held her finger to her chin, making a show of contemplation as she looked around our table at the devil, the sexy pirate, Little Red, and then to me. Then she leaned in, her voice quieter than any of us had been. “Hazel Murphy.”

The name prompted us to move closer, to angle our heads so we could hear Kelly’s quieted voice. So we could listen to a story about our HR Director.

“When I first started, she gave me her fuckin’ life story. I’m talking, sixteen-year-old kid getting pregnant from her twenty-year-old boyfriend, twelve-year-old son getting busted for distribution. And of course,” Kelly said, green eyes wide as she gestured to her face like it was somehow part of the story, “the whole time I’m sitting there, I’m getting distracted by the piece of bright blue glitter hanging off her eyelid.”

“Boo!” Kristen complained. “That’s not good enough. Try again, Harley Quinn.”

“Ain’t done yet, She-Devil.” Kelly’s eyebrow rose as she lifted her shot off the table. “Murphy gets a phone call while I’m filling out my paperwork, then has to tell me all about it. She went and got her tubes tied.”

“Meh,” Melissa said, giving a hard roll of her eyes, but Kelly only raised her glass a little higher.

“Fast forward to last week,” she said, leaning in a little closer. “I’m trying to be all supportive and nice and shit, so I tell her congrats on her new marriage. And she says, ‘Thanks, I’ve got an appointment to get my tubes untied next week.’”

“Um, ew.” Kristen pulled a face. “Isn’t she, like, fifty-eight?”

“Forty-two.”

“Isn’t her husband kinda old?” Melissa asked.

“Seventy-three.”

Jordan and Melissa made gagging noises behind their hands while I placed a finger to the bottom of Kelly’s shot glass and tipped it up. She didn’t need any more prompting. The girl threw the drink back like it was water, then grabbed her mug of beer and drained it.

Kelly slammed the empty glass on the table, then wiped the back of her hand across her lips. “Gah, I needed that after bringing up all those horrible memories.”

“I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to sleep again,” Melissa complained.

“Alright,” Kristen said, rubbing her hands together and glancing my way. “Time for Wonder Woman to earn her drink.”

“Craziest story?” I asked, running a finger through a trail of sweat dripping down my bottle of beer.

“Don’t hold out on us, new girl.”

I shrugged. “I had a phone call the other day that was pretty crazy.”

Kelly slapped one hand over her mouth and used her other to point at me. “Yes! Yes, Jen, you have to tell them!”

The three of them leaned in around the table as Kelly nearly danced in her spot.

“I had to call the RMA to verify some numbers for the board packet I was putting together.”

“Girl, enough said.” Jordan threw her hands out to the side, bumping Melissa and Kelly as she did. “A government agency and dealing with board slides? You deserve the whole frickin’ bar!”

“Shut up,” Kristen whined. “Let her speak.”

“I get this lady I’ve spoken to there about once a week since I started.”

“Was it Cheryl?” Jordan asked. “Please tell me it was Cheryl.”

“It was Cheryl,” I said with a nod, and Jordan let out a groan. “So, I call her up. I’m in a hurry. Rhys needs to approve the slides before it can go up to Jim Parker. I tell her what I need, she tells me she’ll send it right over, and then she starts to talk.”

“Girl—”

“Shut up!”

“Two words.” With my hands lifted in front of me, I leaned in and said, “Boob job.”