Page 56 of Playing for Keeps

Aaron licked his lips, and I dipped my chin for a nod. The movement felt extreme and lifting my head again took more effort than it should. “Yeah,” I whispered, my chest tight. “I do.”

He closed the gap between us, his lips dry and salty as they brushed against mine. The stubble on his chin scratched at my face and his teeth clacked against my own. His tongue was thick and tasted of the cheap vodka we’d been drinking, and my mind spun, that alcohol going straight to my head.

“Fuck, Jen.” Aaron lowered me down to the sofa, his big body covering mine. Closing me in. Weighing me down and making it hard to breathe. “Fuck, I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted this.”

His tongue thrust into my mouth, over and over, dipping in and slipping out. Thick as it rolled over my own, distracting me from what he was doing with his hands.

His hands.

Sliding into my pants.

Pulling them down but not getting them off.

He climbed between my legs, fumbling a condom out of his pocket, pulling back just far enough to slide it on.

Then he was there, pushing in, hurting me as he thrust hard inside.

I wanted to cry.

I wanted to scream.

I didn’t want to do this. Didn’t want it to be him.

My heart rebelled, telling me this was wrong, telling me I shouldn’t be doing this.

But my tongue was heavy from all the vodka I’d drank, and hadn’t I wanted something to stop the pain?

“Aaron.” My voice was a quiet cry, my hands pushing weakly at his chest. He couldn’t hear my thoughts screaming for him to stop. Couldn’t feel the pain that tore at my heart. He fucked me harder, his movements uncoordinated and clumsy, his tongue flicking out and licking my mouth as he lost himself in the drive. I pushed harder at his chest, tears flowing down my cheeks, but he didn’t stop until a sob wrenched free from my throat.

He pulled back, staring down at me, his hips still thrusting as he pumped into me. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, voice raw from exertion, drops of sweat hanging off his nose and chin.

“I don’t want it,” I cried, shaking my head. “I don’t want it.”

He stilled, but he didn’t stop because of what I’d said. He stilled, closing his eyes, his body tense, arms shaking as he finished inside of me.

Horror filled me, head to toe as I realized what I’d done. That I’d given myself to Aaron when I knew he wasn’t the one.

The one.

He wasn’t Vinny.

The only one I’d ever want.

The man who owned my heart.

Scrambling, I pushed Aaron off me, pulling my legs up to my chest and turning onto my side.

“What the fuck?” He looked at me from the other side of the couch, his condom-covered dick sticking straight up. “Baby, why are you crying?”

I buried my face into the couch, my sobs tearing free from my chest. His hand landed on my arm and I swatted him away, trying to sit up.

“Don’t!” I warned, shaking my head. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want this. I don’t want to do this again.”

“I don’t understand. You said you wanted me.”

I did.

I did say that, and I thought I wanted it.