Page 81 of Playing Hard to Get

“Need to talk to you,” Lee said, as quiet as his booming bass could go. He pulled Barnes off to the kitchen, giving me a much-needed reprieve from the torrent of memories and anger that flooded through me the minute I opened my eyes.

“You doing okay?” Macevoy had his hands shoved deep in his pockets. I nodded and looked away, but he didn’t leave.

“These past five years…” His toe dug into a swirl of white carpet. “They’ve been fuckin’ hell, Saunders. Just can’t stop thinking of that day.” He looked at me, his brown eyes as haunted as the eyes that looked at me in the mirror every day.

“Yeah,” I told him. “Feel the same way.”

Macevoy squatted in front of me. “I should have been there, man.” He shook his head. “I should have been there for them. For you. We never should have gone chasing after them like we did. They were just a ruse. A way to sneak up on the rest of you and take you out.”

He fell to the floor, kneeling before me, looking at me like he was praying for forgiveness.

“You could have died, man. You could have joined them.” He raked a hand down his face and blinked up at the ceiling. “Calhoun. Fisher. Harrison. James. Then you and Thompson getting hurt. Fuck. I should have been there.”

My throat tightened and I struggled to take a breath. I hadn’t spoken about that day to anyone but Erika and Viv. Hadn’t talked to any of the survivors of our unit except Lee.

“It’s not your fault,” I told him, the words of my nightmare spilling from my mouth.

“That’s what I keep trying to tell myself,” he said. “Keep telling Thompson that, too.”

I pulled my head back. “You talk to Thompson?”

Macevoy nodded and bit his lip. “He’s in a bad way,” he said, his voice low. “Severe depression. Won’t do his PT to learn how to walk on his prosthesis. He tried to kill himself twice. Blames himself for not doing a better perimeter search before we stopped to eat. Just like I blame myself for not staying close.”

Wringing my hands together, I heard the voice in my head that’d talked me through these last few difficult days. Erika had been there for me, prompting me to get the help I needed to work through the guilt of surviving when others didn’t. “You getting help?”

“Yeah, man.” He nodded and let out a quiet chuckle. “My wife gave me the ultimatum. Get help or get lost. I couldn’t lose her, you know? Her and the kids, they’re all I got left. The only thing that helps me through.”

I gave a tight smile and nodded. “Yeah, I get that.”

Macevoy stood, leaned forward and slapped me on the shoulder. “We’ll bring her home for you, Saunders. I promise, this time I’ve got your back.”

The man walked across the room to the kitchen, joining Barnes and Lee where they stood talking. I rose and started for Vinny’s bedroom, but got stopped by the man himself.

“You alright?” Vinny asked.

“Be better when we get her back.”

“We’ll get her,” he promised, his jaw set and his head held high. “I have faith that you’ll bring her home safe.”

“And I have faith you’ll lead the way.”

Vinny nodded, his lips pressed tight and his nostrils flared. He extended his hand to me. When I took his thin hand in mine, he pulled me in and wrapped his free arm around my shoulders.

“We’ll get her back,” he said, his voice low. “I can’t lose my sister.”

“I can’t lose her either,” I told him.

When Vinny released me, I headed off to his bedroom. I grabbed my bag off his bed where I left it earlier that morning. Before I could leave the room, I was stopped by a man I’d never been able to figure out. Vivian’s father, Marco, stood just inside the doorway. His black, slicked-back hair was showing signs of graying at the temples. His brow was wrinkled, the edges of his lips pulled down in a frown. There was a dark shadow across his jaw and his clothes lacked the crisp polish that they always had in the past.

He looked like hell.

“Mitch,” he said, his voice cracking as he fidgeted with his hands.

“Sir,” I told him. “Thank you for allowing us to use your jet.”

Marco shook his head and stepped closer to me. “It’s me who should be thanking you,” he told me. “If it weren't for you, we wouldn’t have known she was missing at all.”

“Just doing what I can, sir.”