Page 43 of The Saint

“I have a lot of things.” Jael crossed her arms, and I knew she didn’t believe me. “I moved the bikes to another unit so I could get the car out.”

“You have more than one?” With her chin raised, she reminded me of the way she was when we were eight. When Arik told her we couldn’t have cookies because it would ruin our dinner.

Like that would ever go over well.

A smile tugged at my lips. “I have a couple.”

“For your bikes.” There was a glimmer in her eyes, reminding me of the sun glinting off early morning dew covering a grassy lawn. Of the excitement she showed each time we’d started out on a hike.

Reaching in my pocket, I pulled out my keys, then jerked my head to the right.

She was off my car and by my side so fast it was as if she’d never left. Two units down, I reached for the lock and opened it.

There was an audible gasp from her as she peeked her head under the door. She didn’t bother to wait until it was rolled up high enough for her to see while standing. She scooted under, hands coming to rest on one of the bikes before I’d even flipped on the overhead light.

“Holy shit,” she murmured, hands sliding over the seat to the handlebars. “You still have these?”

My flesh warmed, and for once, I was happy the lighting here wasn’t the best. “Of course, I do. You didn’t think I’d get rid of them, did you?”

Jael threw her leg over the bike, the movement as fluid as it had been back before she left. And that warmth drained from my face, centering in my chest as my jaw tightened.

“You ridden lately?”

Her head shook. “Not since the last time I was out with you,” she said, and damn if the tension dropping from my neck and back didn’t surprise the hell out of me. “Shit again.” She was off the bike as fast as she hopped on, heading to the backpacks lining the walls. “You still have these?”

This time, she caught me off guard, turning back to me and catching the shaky smile she’d brought to my lips.

“I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them,” I said of our old hiking gear.

“Rolly.” She took my hand, pressed her own to my chest, like she could quell the rattling of the bars around my heart. A small smile graced her lips, and I was lost in the thought of what it would taste like. What it would feel like to have that smile against my lips, the breath filling her lungs being exhaled into mine. “We should go hiking sometime.”

It was just a whisper, those words. Full of hope, of fear, of the same questions that had rolled around inside of me the last few months. Since the moment I first saw her at Marina Medina’s house, me in my sling, the pain from my gunshot still so fresh and unrelenting, all I’d been able to think about was all of the what-ifs and what-might-have-beens.

“I’d like that.”

Her eyes drifted down my face, landing on my lips, and my heart thudded once, twice, rattling at its cage. Thick droplets of rain splattered the pavement, drawing her attention from me. She turned away, freeing the ache that wound tight around my heart. She cast a glance over the unit once more. The two motorbikes, our camping and hiking equipment, my old Jeep and a few boxes packed with clothes I had no room for in my apartment.

“We should go.”

With a smile, she squeezed my hand. We stepped out of the unit, and I locked it up.

“Too bad you couldn’t get two units next to each other,” Jael said as we started back toward the first unit and my car. “This arse had to go and ruin it, huh?”

My steps slowed when I realized she’d stopped. I didn’t want to turn. Didn’t want to face her. But I’d brought her here. There was no hiding this.

She had her hands on her hips when I looked back over my shoulder. A thick droplet of rain ran down her cheek like a tear. Another hit her forehead and trickled over her eyebrow, causing her to squint. She raised her chin. “This is yours too?”

She zeroed in on my lips as they pursed, and her brow rose as she waited. I dragged my hand down my face, then stepped over to where she’d stopped. Twisting the key in the lock felt like torture, like I was baring a piece of me I could never get back. I shoved my hands in my pockets and turned to face her, though my gaze was locked on the corner of the building beyond her shoulder.

She didn’t wait for any more of an invitation. She lifted the rolling door, pushing it up high enough for her to get through without hitting her head. I grabbed it to keep it from rolling back down, then pushed it up until it caught and stayed put.

“Got a light?”

The question brought to mind a lighter rolling back and forth across my knuckles, the flames that could shoot out if only I could master the trick my friend, Diesel, had tried to teach me. And for the first time in my life, I wondered if that was it, what I should have done. Tossed everything into a fire and watched it all burn.

The thought of it was painful, almost as bad as what I was about to do.

I found the switch on the wall, and I slammed my eyes shut as I flipped the lights on.