Page 58 of The Saint

Tyrone slung his arm around Gil’s shoulder. “Come on, kid. I’ll walk you home.”

“Don’t need no one taking care of me.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe I do. Besides, I’m just down the block from you. Keep me company, will ya?”

Rolly smiled, watching his two friends as they headed off the court. His hand gripped mine, fingers twining between my own, and he pulled me close to him, wrapping an arm around my back. His lips descended on mine, a hard press that felt almost brutal. And I loved it, loved that it felt like he was trying to claim me right out in the open. Even if no one was around to see.

“You good,” Rolly asked when he finally edged back, his arm around my back offering the support I needed after his kiss left me lightheaded and weak.

“Yeah.” I pushed up on my toes, stealing a kiss, then another, before I finally loosened my tight grip on his t-shirt. I smoothed it down across his chest, feeling suddenly shy and worried that he’d pull away.

“You want to get something to eat?” His hand was at the side of my head again, his fingers tangling in my hair and his body heat scorching my skin.

I bobbed my head and licked my lips, wishing for something to drink to wet my tongue. “Sure,” I said, then cleared the tightness from my throat. “I’m famished.”

* * *

After grabbing dinner at one of the food carts along Central Park West, Rolly and I ended up atop Umpire Rock, looking out over the playground. His head was in my lap, the shadow of my body covering him as he stared up at the evening sky. My fingers tangled in his hair, combing through the longer locks when I could bring myself to let go.

“It was a good day.” Those slate-blue eyes looked like the deep ocean when he turned them to me.

“Yeah.” My fingers skated across his smiling lips, along his jaw, down his throat that bobbed against my touch. “I’m glad you’re happy.”

His hand stopped mine, clutching it against his chest. “I want you to be happy too.”

“I am,” I promised. “I had a lot of fun today.”

He shook his head, his smile trailing off. “Don’t lie to me, David.”

I drew my gaze away from his, watching one of the last few people at the playground round up her kids to go home. My grip tightened, the one Rolly was holding fisting his shirt, the other tugging at his hair.

I was happy. Happy I was with Rolly. Happy he’d let me in, asked me to come with him to Lovegood Studios, that he’d taken me with him to the park so he could hang out with his friends. The day was fulfilling, my heart full.

Yet some empty longing swirled in my gut.

Everything had gone great today. Everything was better than I could imagine. From Rolly making love to me in my bed after we were done at Lovegoods, to the ease at which he’d accepted me playing ball with his friends. But the minute Tyrone had mentioned Zeno, my gut throbbed like an open wound.

“What is it?” Rolly asked, his voice a calming blanket that soothed my troubled soul.

“I just…” I couldn’t finish, because I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t sure what was wrong.

“You’re bored.”

“What?”

Rolly flinched and raised a hand to his head, tugging my fingers loose from his hair.

“Sorry.”

He twisted onto his side, resting on his elbow, his upper body draped across my lap. “You’re bored, David. The past month has been nothing but rest and relaxation. You’re not used to that, are you?”

I dropped my chin, but Rolly lifted it, his gaze locked on mine.

“It’s okay,” he soothed, his thumb tracing along my jaw. “I get it.”

My heart ached. Being with Rolly, falling into our old ways, had been the best thing to ever happen to me. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. But he was right. From the moment I joined the IDF five years ago, I hadn’t had more than a week where I wasn’t at least training or on guard. Even at the farm the past couple years, there’d been a steady rotation of mind-numbing patrols to keep me occupied.

Here, all I had was Rolly. And as much as I loved our jogs through the park and the trips out on his boat, or having him in my bed…