Page 66 of Love, Amy

Plus, I worried he wouldn’t answer. That if I tried to reach out, he wouldn’t want to see me. That what he said post-Wimbledon feels different with an imprint of my father’s fist on his face.

I knock quietly on his front door. There’s not a sound from inside the house. I can’t see a light on. I knock again, a little louder. I wonder if his nona is inside, and I’m waking her from the rest she needs. I thought it would be fine to come straight here because Aurelio said it’s mostly him and his father these days. His nona lives with Aurelio’s brother and helps take care of Bianca since Bianca’s mother isn’t in the picture. But what if she’s staying here instead after her stint in the hospital?

Worried, I turn back down the path and reach for my phone. I can call the car service and stay at a hotel for the night.

Abruptly, the door opens behind me. A sleepy voice asks, “Amy?”

I spin around, taking in Aurelio in the doorway. He’s standing in just a pair of Nike shorts, moonlight hitting his freckled skin. The door stays open behind him, one hand curled around the frame. He’s in a state of confusion, squinting at me on the path. “Hi,” I say weakly. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

It’s a ridiculous thing to say, because I did. I wanted to see him so badly that I couldn’t wait one more second.

“How did you get this address?” he asks, brow furrowed. It’s not exactly a friendly question, but it’s not exactly an accusation either.

I take a step towards the house. “Fernanda,” I explain. “She asked Francisco for it.”

He nods slowly, the sleep fading from his features. “But why are you here?” There’s an edge to Aurelio’s voice I’m not used to. “You haven’t been answering my calls.”

I wince. “I turned my phone off after Cincinnati.” I take a few more steps towards him. He doesn’t lean away, but watches me come closer, face half in the shadows. I take a deep breath. “How’s Nona doing? Vince said she’s out of the hospital?”

A little affection bleeds into his features, though he doesn’t uncross his arms. “She came home yesterday morning,” he confirms. “It was a bad case of pneumonia. They believe she’ll recover fully. My father was not lying about her condition, so I was here through it all.”

I sigh with relief. “That’s great news. I’m so happy for you and your family.”

There’s a brief pause, a twitch of discomfort. Finally, he says, “My father apologized, again, for keeping me in the dark when my mother was sick.” I wait, holding my breath. Aurelio releases his, and it sounds relieved. “And this time, I forgave him, truly forgave him. You were right, Amy. All my family wants is for me to be happy, But I want all of us to be happy, and to do that, I must forgive him for his secrets. So, I did.”

“That’s wonderful, Aurelio.” My hands shake with the effort not to reach for him. “I’m proud of you.”

“And you?” His voice is still carefully neutral. “You fired your father?” Aurelio’s face gives me nothing, still lingering in the shadows. “I saw your post.”

This reminds me of that ill-fated date in Miami where Aurelio couldn’t see past Beck Bowman’s daughter. I have to tell him that I killed her, but I’m not sure what’s left behind in her place.

My trembling fingers push a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Yes.” I look Aurelio in the eye. “Did you really think I would let him stay on after what he did to you?”

Aurelio leans fully into the moonlight, letting me see his face. I try to hide my wince when I see the damage Beck inflicted. There’s a purple shadow around Aurelio’s eye, blossoming into a sickly yellow around the edges. “I don’t know,” he says hollowly, finally dropping his arms. “I really don’t know, Amy. I wanted to believe you wouldn’t.” He struggles with his words more than usual, chewing on them. I wait patiently for his judgement. I know I deserve it. “It’s just...” He runs a hand through his curls, unruly from his pillow. “I needed you, Amy. I really needed you this week, and you weren’t here. It feels like at every opportunity, at every chance...” His face creases, agonized. “I ask you to choose me, and you don’t.”

The words fall like an anvil between us.

My bottom lip quivers, but I bite it savagely. “I thought I was choosing you,” I tell him, voice quiet in the darkness. “I thought I was doing what was best for you.”

Aurelio shakes his head in disbelief. “How could it be for the best, Amy?”

I gesture to myself. “I’m drowning, Aurelio. I’m sinking under the anchor that was my father and his expectations. And when it was just me being affected, that was one thing. But in that hotel, in Cincinnati...” I let out a shaky breath, shoving down the memories, the sound of fist on flesh. “I got rid of my anchor, I promise, but that weight was familiar. It was easy. Now, I don’t know what to do. I felt like I couldn’t swim, and I didn’t want to drag you down with me.” I take a deep breath, straightening my spine, lifting my chin. “But I see now that it should be your choice. It was wrong of me to take that away.” I look into Aurelio’s face, smooth and expressionless. I try to hide the tremble in my voice, but it comes out in my final question. “So, Aurelio, will you drown with me?”

There’s a pause as he regards me, staring down from the stoop of his house. His dark eyes seem hard out here. Finally, he gives me an answer. “No,” he says, “I won’t.”

The rejection bites, but I’m not unused to pain. In a way, it’s what I expected him to say.

I nod. “Right.” My voice feels far away. “Okay.” I start to turn back, heading towards my lonely suitcase and the road.

Aurelio catches my arm, hand around my elbow. I look back up at him. “But I will pull you onto dry land.” He draws me towards him all at once, up onto the stoop, so we’re together. My chest brushes his, the toes of my sneakers line up with his bare feet, my eyes are drawn to his face. He drops my wrist and reaches for me. His gentle fingers trace down my cheekbone, my jaw, the corner of my mouth.

“Dry land?” I whisper. From this angle, the moon silhouettes him in light.

And then, a miracle happens. Aurelio smiles at me. “Dry land,” he agrees. He playfully crinkles his nose at me. “I think it’s time to get out of the water, don’t you?”

When he kisses me, it feels familiar because we’re both grinning like fools. It’s nice to realize that the man you love always kisses with a smile on his face. For a girl like Amy Bowman, it seems like a good omen. I lean closer to him, pressing myself against his bare chest, shivering a little at his cool skin on mine. His hands cup my face, as though I’m something precious, something sweet. He smells like clean sheets and Rome. He feels like joy and finding home.

I wish time would stretch forever. I want to choose Aurelio over and over and over and over until we unravel into something infinite.