Page 37 of Birthright

You have never asked me what ma guerrière means. Do you know?

I emerged from the bathroom and headed to the bed where he was lying, fully clothed. “No. I know it’s French. I like the way you say it. It makes me think you’re proud of me.” I crawled up next to him and snuggled against his chest. It hurt to think he could ever be proud of the weakness I had shown with so many tears.

He smiled. “Yes, that is what I mean to do. It means ‘little warrior.’” He was quiet for a moment. “That night at the castle, when you were standing in the moonlight, Keena… That moment I knew I would be bound to you forever. I knew you would bring me nothing but trouble and I knew you would have great responsibilities. I understood those responsibilities would bring you danger and would bring others to your bed. I gave you what was left of me as a man, knowing all this. Knowing that the shell of a man I had become could only be saved by you, not destroyed.”

“I would break that spell if I could, Tynan, you know that. I let you give your oath too quickly. I wasn’t fair. I was weak,” I said into his chest.

“Our current situation makes me very happy, Keena. I will help you in any way that I’m able. I’m not asking to break my bond to you. But you must know this—if you go to Thule, I cannot help you.”

Guess he knew me pretty well. “Reading my thoughts?”

“You could say so.” He kissed the top of my head. “I need not read your mind to know your heart. You need to know that I can’t go to Thule, even though I wish to help you. My soul is no longer pure since Nessum cursed us to feed on humans.” I felt him tighten against me. “It caused us to lose the purity that saved us from him to begin with. If I go to Thule, Nessum would claim my soul at the sight of me.” He kissed me again, brushing my hair with his hand. “I would move heaven and earth for you, give myself up to you for an eternity…but I can’t set foot on Thule. He would use me against you. I’ve spent centuries keeping my soul from him. I⁠—”

“I understand. You don’t have to go there.” I meant it both literally and figuratively.

We lay quietly for a while with him holding me, the smell of the forest on his skin.

Tynan. I kissed his skin with my lips and spoke his name with my heart.

Yes, my love?

I’m sorry to cause you such pain.

“It’s pain you give me, but I’ll surely have gray hair before long.”

CHAPTER 16

The following night, I packed everything I needed for the seeing potion and started off to the wishing well. The big stone structure was tucked away in a quiet clearing, deep in the heart of the forest. It was one of the places where I felt most connected to my energy.

The sun had set an hour or so before, and I stood with a small breeze to my face, taking in the cool evening air. The brightness of the full moon lit the forest in a mist of silver. I felt the life of all the living things around me, the force permeating my skin like a sweetly perfumed lotion. I loved this feeling. It called to me softly when I was indoors, and I dreamt of it when I slept.

I started to ready all the tools for the sacred circle. I had done this plenty of times before but always with someone there to guide me. Tonight, for the first time, I was on my own. Candles flickered in the light breeze. Howard circled above and would warn me of any danger. The moonlight was so bright that he cast a shadow as, every so often, his silhouette crossed directly in front of the moon. I had about an hour until the moon was high enough to become the last part of the power I needed to cast the spell and create the potion.

I needed Abbey. She should have been here to help with this one. It was complicated, and potions were the weakest of my skills. Given that I didn’t need potions for fighting, Bevin had promised to work on them after the final battle. I would have to do the best I could and hope I didn’t screw it up. Abbey had jotted everything down so she wouldn’t forget anything. At least I had her notes.

The search for those notes in her room, however, had been agonizing. The place smelled of her. All her Abbey-sized things had reminded me of her funny nature, how she brimmed with life. I hadn’t cried while I was in her personal space. I missed her more than I could have dreamed and I was drowning in guilt, but it was time to harden myself to my new life. I prayed she could stay alive long enough for me to get to her.

Hold on.

I was just about to close the circle—keeping the power and positive energy in and the negativity out—when I heard footfalls heading toward me and pulled out my blade. I was still jumpy after yesterday and was taking no more chances.

Manus emerged from the woods, his face smug and strong as usual.

“I thought I’d find you here,” he said, showing little concern for the collection of herbs and candles he would certainly recognize and from which surmise my plan.

“Manus, I have to do this tonight. I know your feelings on the matter. Please leave me to do what I have to,” I said, turning back to the circle.

He stepped into it. “You can’t do this alone.”

I shot up straight. “You have so little faith in me that you don’t think I can hold a circle?”

He cringed and I saw the pain that drained his color. Guilt over his outburst yesterday was etched in the lines of his face. I shouldn’t have been so blunt, but I needed him to be the strong one, the one who would punch me square in the gut without holding back.

He went to his knee, his head bowed low. “I have come to give what assistance I can.”

I had figured that Doran would order him to keep me calm and as low key as possible. If he came to help me now, it was certainly against her orders. Against everything he believed. “You can’t, Manus. You have Doran to follow.”

He looked up at me. “I swore my oath to you, not Doran. I will follow you to the end of your life or mine. I feared for you last night. I never lost faith in you. I’m sorry I expressed my fear so badly. I haven’t felt that particular emotion before.”