Page 65 of Birthright

I thought about that. It wasn’t all men. Not Manus or any of the other men in the gym today. None of the men in the bar had sent me into overdrive the way the huge half Demon did. “No.”

“Then it’s only men you’re attracted to. Isn’t that control?”

“Not conceited at all, are you?” I rolled away from him, fighting the urge to grab him and pull him to me.

“Close your thoughts to me, Keena, before I lose my mind to your fantasies. I can only restrain myself so much.”

God. I was driving him crazy along with myself. I fought to build the mental block back up. “I’m so sorry, Jordan. I just…”

“I’ll leave.”

“No. Don’t.” I had to sate this need. He was right. They were all right. It was a part of who I truly was and I had to accept it.

“Keena, you’re not ready. Call me when you are, and I’ll come to you. I’m not such a beast that I’d take you unwillingly. I don’t want you to hate yourself or me for this.”

He was gone before I could turn over and run to the open door. Damn. Damn. Damn.

I ran another cold bath and plunged myself into it. He was right. I had to face this attraction when I was calm and decide what to do about it. The coolness of the water helped. Sliding completely under, I let it cool my whole body. I had to have more control over myself. I had been raised white-bread middle-American. Church on Sundays. Good little girls don’t just fling themselves at men and hop into bed. My body wanted it so badly, but how could I just let go? I didn’t even know his last name.

“Keena.” It was Abbey’s timid voice at the door Jordan had left through.

“You set me up, you little bitch.” I tried to sound angry but it didn’t happen.

She poked her head around the door of the bathroom. “I’m sorry. Manus told me about him this afternoon. We thought if you just had some time out with him you’d⁠—”

“What? Climb into bed with him? I can’t do it, Abbey. I know I’m not exactly who I was months ago, but I’m still somewhat that person. Casual sex was never for me.” She had come all the way into the bathroom and tilted her head at me, questioning. “I can’t explain it to you other than to say it’s just not me.”

She climbed up to the edge of the huge tub, straightening her little silver skirt as she crossed her legs. “You’re right, I don’t understand. But I’m not so stupid that I can’t see that it’s important to you. I’ll try. I don’t know how to help you. Your body is going to keep upping the stakes, wild one. Your power needs the exchange with others. We’re going to have to figure out something.”

She was right, and I knew it. I started to agree, but heard my bedroom door crash open, and Hogan came rushing in.

“Keena, get out of the tub!” He was panting, his eyes bulging. “Manus was attacked. He’s hurt!”

I was out of the tub, and he had me dressed in record time. We rushed to the healing room. Jasmine and the scent of healing herbs filled the waiting area. It was quiet except for the chanting from the far room down the hall.

Doran met us before we went in to see Manus. “Looks like a Gremlin attack, but it’s hard to tell.”

“How bad is he?” I was starting to walk around her to go to him, but Doran stopped me.

“Had to be several of them.” She was trying to keep the worry off her face. She’d tried for a blank expression, but I saw everything in her eyes. I felt my heart sink as I looked into those eyes. “Keena.” She looked down. Abbey grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze, a show of support. “He’s been cut up…badly. Bevin is with him right now, let her do her magic.”

I realized I was holding my breath and had to exhale before speaking. “How badly?” She didn’t answer. “I left him less than an hour ago. How badly?”

She wouldn’t raise her head. “It’s bad, Keena.”

The room started to spin and I felt weak. I tried to focus on something. Anything. The chair in the corner seemed to be perfect. Neutral, plain and unemotional. I took in a deep breath. “What happened?” I was surprised it came out.

She put her hand on my arm to steady me. “We’re not sure. Jordan is looking into it. Looks like he was attacked on his way home from the club. We’ll figure that out. You need to sit.”

Yeah. Sit. I didn’t think I could stand anymore. She ushered me to the neutral chair in the corner that I had suddenly found a great fondness for. I admired that chair as we moved to it.

Manus was just beyond a slightly opened door. I heard the chanting coming from the room. I heard Bevin’s soothing voice mingled with a couple of others. The scent of the herbs drifted from the little room into the hall.

I was numb. I couldn’t lose Manus. He was my rock, my friend. He’d held me together as I accepted this new life. He’d held me together through my human life when he was just my cat. Manus had been my sanity, my joy and my strength for so long. I’d loved him most of my life.

Abbey got up in my lap, and I held her. We rocked together with the rhythm of Bevin’s chanting and just held each other. We didn’t need to say anything, didn’t want to break the healing power of the Witches in the other room. Doran paced back and forth along the far side of the open waiting area. Her steps made no noise. Her face was blank, showing no expression. I held tight to my friend.

The chanting had drifted into a low, melodious tone, and the aroma of the herbs and incense was so strong it was choking. I couldn’t keep thinking about how hurt he must be. I had to do something, anything. “It had to be a planned attack,” I said softly to Doran. She stopped pacing and turned to me. “A couple of troublemakers at a bar wouldn’t have taken him down.” She shook her head once at me. “How do we know it’s Gremlins?”