Page 101 of Till Death Do Us Part

vera

“Vera?”

Elaine’s voice was soft in the damp morning air, and I looked back at where she came out onto the overlook—the Whitecliff stronghold was in an old converted church, and most of it felt like a living space, but up here on the steeple, where the wind tasted like rain and the brass of the bell, it was hard to forget where you were.

I’d been forgetting where I was.

“You’re up early,” I said.

“You’re up earlier.”

I stood up, and I took the paper from my coat pocket, unrolling it. Elaine’s eyes went wide at the sight.

Our contract.

“What are you doing?” she said.

“I don’t think this will be necessary anymore,” I said, and I tore the contract down the middle. Elaine gasped, reaching for it, her fingers stopping just short.

“Vera—”

“It’s for the best,” I said. turning the paper and tearing it down the other way, too. “For both of us. You know that being with me would only destroy you. And then it would destroy me.”

She welled up, clutching her hands together at her chest. “I’m not going to leave you alone, Vera. Not after everything we’ve been through together.”

I tore the paper one last time, and I stood at the railing, taking a long breath before I cast it out to the wind. Elaine reached for it, paper scraps slipping through her fingers, and she stood there still frozen, reaching for it, as I spoke. “We saw what happened at the manor. The Blackbirds are trying to get rid of you. You need to hide, Elaine. Somewhere far away from here.”

“What?” She turned to me with tears springing up on her cheeks. Like I needed that right now. Like I needed to see this woman, the only person I’d ever realized I could love, crying from what I was doing to her. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“What happens during the assault on the headquarters? Do you walk into the lion’s den? Do you stay unprotected in the manor or in some enemy family’s safehouse?”

“But…”

“You have to go.” I put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing tightly. I had to drag in a shaky breath to not start crying too, seeing her like that.

To think Elaine Whitner, the woman who should have been an easy target, was the one to break me. The one to make me love. And at last, the one to make me cry.

It could only ever have been her.

“You have to go,” I repeated, quieter this time. “Somewhere it’s safe. Please. Do this for me. For both of us.”

“I can’t… it’s not fair,” she sobbed, wiping her face. “What if something happens to you? I told you, we have to prioritize everybody getting out safely…”

“I’m going to be okay. I promise.” I brushed my thumb over her cheek. “But you need to stay out of danger. Even if we fail and have to retreat. You need to be somewhere else. Somewhere far away. Somewhere safe.”

“I can’t. I won’t. I’m a part of the family. You know that!”

“And what if that family wants to protect you!?” I snapped, and she shrank back. I squeezed my hands. “Elaine… please. I can’t keep losing people I care about. I’m sorry. But it has to be this.”

She made a visible effort to pull herself together, not to cry, and she breathed in, shakily, out, chest heaving. “I have to say it, you know,” she whispered.

“Don’t.”

But she did it anyway, the damn woman. “I love you.”

I gripped the railing so tightly I felt like it would slice through my fingers. Just like the chain-link fence. Just like the railing on the cliff when I watched her die.

“I love you, Vera,” she said, again. Impossible words hammering into me. I closed my eyes.